Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Schlepper vs. Baby Seal

Vacation stopped being vacation when we had kids. Why even pack a book? GONE is the rest and relaxation that I once knew. Without the little sanity breaks provided by the dull, daily routine, I am a drooling idiot by bedtime. I am THROUGH. Done. Finito.

There is so much ‘vacation’related lifting and loading. So much schlepping. Yesterday we returned from five days at the beach. Back and forth, back and forth over the hot sand we have carried: inflatable pool & beach items; sand toys, water toys; beach mats; beach towels; snacks; drinks; sunscreen; kites and God knows what else. We have slathered the children over and over again in SPF 50 cream and wedged them in and out of swim diapers and swim suits. We have braved the high highs and the low lows of toddler moods and we have done it all with very little sleep.

Wee Rooster Girl decided that the absence of routine was a good enough excuse to entertain us with a nightly (3:00a.m. – 4:30 a.m.) imitation of a baby seal. The baby seal imitation involved her doing flip flops in our bed while yelling in great exultation. I have never heard such joyous sounds come out of her body at any other time.

Why was she in our bed you might ask?

If we denied her the baby seal audience, she would SCREAM until her older brother, our friends’ children or our friends themselves were disturbed out of sleep. I can just imagine she was thinking, “Someone is going to WATCH this damned seal show I have prepared.”

On the third night she included clapping – new to her repertoire. She kicked us each repeatedly as if to say, “wake up and check this out dudes, I can CLAP!”

The nightly hour and a half routine of flipping and flopping around the bed would finally end when she found a way to jam her teeny tiny toes up my nostrils, shove a few fingernails into my soft belly and fall asleep with her head near it’s ancestral home.

K and I swore that, once home, she would receive the ultimate SMACKDOWN in the form of CRYING IT OUT in the comfort of her own crib where there is no one to disturb.

So what did she do on her first night home?

She slept through the night.

“Smackdown is a ONE WAY street my dear parents.” -- wee Rooster Girl


Kevin Charnas said...

HA! Excellent post. It figures she slept... great visuals! - the whole fingers in the nose, fingernails to the belly, head close to the woo-ha-ha, very funny.

jennster said...

lmfao @ vacation stopped being vacation when you had kids. unless you vacation WITHOUT them

Mel said...

What Jennster said! LMAO!!!
Also, irony is a term I never fully understood until I had kids. That's for damn sure.

Oh, The Joys said...

No doubt! Where is my Nanny? Where's grandma with the offer to watch the children for a long, long, time while we go on vacation? I'm waiting...

floosen said...

My friends had a classic vacation experience where they decided to take a cruise with their extended family and *young* kids...young kids who went to bed at 7:30-8 at night...and they were sharing a very small cabin...and they couldn't just leave them in there by themselves...and they couldn't watch TV, or read, or do ANYTHING that might wake up the kids (ahem)...sitting, in a veal cage of a cruise ship room, with nothing to do, night after night. Can you IMAGINE? The horrors.

We left David for a week last year and went to Morocco with my family. It was heavenly...

Mel said...

*contemplates a catfight with Floosen from sheer outraged jealousy*