Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Strategic Plan

Last night Rooster Girl was practicing standing up by using my thigh to pull up.

The Mayor was coming in and out of the room dragging pillows, down comforters, crib sheets and baby blankets in the process of constructing some kind of nest.

K was standing in the doorway asking me how I would differentiate Goals, Strategies, and Tactics in an organizational strategic planning process.

Me?

I was trying to POOP.

Yes. I was on the TOILET in the BATHROOM while all this was happening around me.

Can you feel my joy?

When did it become NORMAL for my ENTIRE family to have to be in the bathroom with me when I try to get my
smooth muscles working?

Let's see...

Strategic Plan Title: Poopin' in 2006

Goal: Poop Alone

Strategy: Decrease the number of people in the bathroom at the time of smooth muscle stimulation.

Tactic: Eat A LOT of garbanzo beans and fog them all OUT.

17 comments:

Sayre said...

We have an "open door" policy at my house... mostly because the knob to the bathroom was so wacked that anyone who closed it would get locked in the bathroom and be stuck for a while until someone happened on the right grip, sequence, or turning ratio to get the door open again.

11 years we lived with this. Now we are in a new house where all the knobs work, but unless there's company, we still leave the doors open...

jackt said...

A good poop is sacred. They should not mess with that.

Mel said...

OMG, woman, I am so serious, now... I'm going to have to wait to read your blog until after my boss leaves for lunch.
I must look like I have a facial tic, or something.
:)

jennster said...

omg0- i used to work in strategic planning, so now you've got me ALL STRESSED OUT! lol

Heather said...

Ha! I don't even HAVE kids and I have this problem. My mother does not believe in private time and, honestly, I sort of like it most of the time...

Thank you SO much for your comment on my blog. I really appreciate the support.

theresa said...

Now there's something that would really freak me out, having people in the bathroom while I poop. I feel a bad dream coming on zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kristin said...

omg... no way, no how... you need a deadbolt!!!

michele said...

I got so used to the door being opened that I'm still doing it and my daughters say to me, "Can't you shut the door." I want to smack them because they conditioned me :-).

BTW, Steel-cut oats -- eat a bowl every morning. It's also helps with the diet cause you don't feel like eating for a long time.

Dirty Butter said...

We've always had an open door policy for number 1, but closed for number 2. That is, until we got an inside cat. Now, I have company every time I'm in there. I don't know what the fascination is, but she follows me to the bathroom every time I go. Of course, it's her bathroom, too. We have the litterbox in the bath tub. It's where we lock her up when we leave the house, and for bedtime. We don't give her free roaming rights to the house during the night. So if we can't catch her to put her to bed, all I have to do is go potty ... works like a charm LOL!!!

I voted for you on BLOG VILLAGE!

Domestic Chicky said...

OMG-too funny.

I have recently decided to assert my privledge, nay, my RIGHT to poop in peace. There's only one drawback, once I am in the fairly soundproof, coolest part of the house...

I don't want to come back out.

Heaven help them if I ever have the foresight to bring a book in there with me.

Melli said...

ROFLMBO! That will probably work on all but the one using you as her crutch to stand up! Plan on THAT one being a part of your ...'em... daily habits ... for a looooooooonggggg time to come!!!

Wendy directed me here today!

Panda said...

SNORT!

melissa said...

I wish you luck, soldier.

I never figured out how to do that. And now, the cats get in on the action.

Kevin Charnas said...

I think that I just spit a little bit of chianti onto the keyboard...

Nikki said...

HA! I know what you mean. I just hate that!

I have gotten to the point where I have recently started kicking everyone out when I go to the bathroom.

Kevin said...

I recall that we were trying to escape the fog in the rest of the house.

Blue Fairy said...

i just gave it up entirely.