Tuesday, June 06, 2006


I am so FRUSTRATED. It has been more days than I can count since we spent a whole day WITHOUT getting plastered, showered, (scattered, covered and chunked) with vomit. Rooster Girl is VIOLENTLY EXPLODING from both ends all day, everyday. K and I are juggling her like a hot potato during the day because you are not allowed to send your children to daycare when their orifices are acting like pressure washers. Imagine.

We need 24 projectile fluid free hours to get BACK to the (I bow down before you) support of the daycare team. Every morning I hold out the hope that perhaps today she WON'T throw up. Perhaps today we will make it 24 hours without vomit and excessively loose poo.

But no.

Today she has made it CLEAR that there is no hope for daycare attendance tomorrow either.


Just as soon as she is well, I can rest assured that The Mayor will start spewing forth chunks of partially digested toddler food. Somewhere in the schedule K and I might find ourselves hovered over the proper receptacle... sadly, THE PROPER RECEPTACLE is not in the repetoire of the wee ones. There is no rest for the weary in sight.

If I was not my only employee, I would fire myself for not showing up for work - ever. My clients must be so tired of hearing about the latest round of kiddie illness. They must think I feed my children firecrackers and sewage.

So I'm TIRED of being thrown up on and TIRED of cleaning up really disgusting contributions from the nether regions... but I know she's sick with some virus and I'm sure her tummy hurts... I wish I could magically make her feel better. Where is THIS kid? Have you seen her? Please send her back. We miss her.

Look at ME!


Kevin Charnas said...

god damn blogger...I'll try leaving this a-fucking-gain.
oh Jessica, I'm really sorry that you guys are having such a time of it. With that being said and sincerely meant - as usual, you have me LMFAO! "firecrackers and sewage" "pressure washers" - just to name two...so damn funny.

the photo -so damn cute! poor little thing..."firecrackers and sewage" - I'm going to be laughing about that all day long.

Mel said...

E-zackly re: fucking Blogger.
I'd give you a hug, but I caught a glimpse of your next post and, sorry to say, you've got the cooties, so I won't be performing any huggage today.
But I am so sorry about the babes.
(Okay, here's a cyberhug.)