Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The "Universal We"

When I'm at a shoe store with K and I ask him, "Should I buy this pair of shoes or this pair?" K knows to say, "You should definitely buy both!"

When I am boo hoo-ing and irrational, K knows that he should reassure me. He should put his arms around me, comfort me and tell me he loves me -- even if he isn't "feeling the love" in that exact moment.

He is a self-proclaimed feminist man and broadly willing to seriously consider women's perspectives.

He is kind, patient and tolerant.

But I am so bossy.

He really doesn't appreciate it... and who can blame him. My family thinks he is a saint.

St. K, long sufferer of bossiness.

One thing that really bugs K is when I speak to him using the "Universal We."

The Universal We goes like this:

Universal We: "We should take out the garbage and recycling tonight."
What it means: K should do it.

Universal We: We should hang the blinds.
What it means: K should do it.

Universal We: We should carry all this crap-ola up to the attic.
What it means: Yeah, like I'm carrying all that sh*t up there?! It's HOT up there.

He would be so grateful if I would simply say, "K, would you be willing to...." and he's repeatedly requested that I ask directly (and politely) if I'd like him to do something. "Oh, sorry, yes, sure," I always answer, but I am an old dog apparently and he suffers on (and on and on.)

Last night, K walked into our bedroom and realized that a portable crib was still set up in there from [insert random boring details here]. As K packed it up, he muttered, "We should really get this out of here."

Then he realized what he said, looked up at me and grinned.


I will rub off on you if you're not careful.

19 comments:

Moobs said...

He is an angel, most of us are to thick to decode the "we". We would just respond with an "uh-huh".

Nikki said...

HAHAHA!

Charles would just look at me and tell me "You should get right on that." LOL

Gotta love the men.

Diana said...

LOL!
Funny, how at my house we both use the "we" when we mean the other...
I never really paid much attention to it.

Sayre said...

So when YOU say "...we should..." it means Kevin should...

And when KEVIN says "...we should..." it means Kevin should...

I LIKE it! Gotta try that one out.

Suz said...

(giggling in the basement here)

I've just emailed this to my husband....Sometimes I think we're (WE're!) the only ones who do this :)

liberalbanana said...

You use the "universal we?" I don't know why, but I'm surprised! (Like I know you THAT well from reading your blog! Ha!) We should work on getting that "Saint" status for your hubs...And by we I mean you. :)

Pendullum said...

What a great love story...

melissa b. said...

Must. try. this. power. on. husband!

I love it!

Blonde Vigilante said...

You should just say we minus me should do blah blah blah. That should make everybody happy.

Kevin Charnas said...

you're turning him into Gollom, from Lord Of The Rings!!!
Actually, poor Kevin and poor Will. I say the same shit to him, oh kindred one...

Mama C said...

We really should not speak that way. We also have been repeatedly asked to "just ask me" to do things instead of saying "we should" do them. Hmm.. do we think we have a complex?

Natsthename said...

I despise the Universal We! Hubby says that all the time, meaning, you're going to do this, Nat, but I'm going to share the credit (if it's due!) Drives me batty!

blessedmomx3 said...

Ahaha! My husband says "we" ALL THE TIME! And I turn 13, roll my eyes back in my head as far as they'll go, slump my shoulders and say, "Which part of "we" are you referring to because this part of "we" ain't doin' it!"

Kristin said...

Hey there... I finally checked out your other blog and HELLO UNIVERSAL WE and the outrageous backpacking trip!!

Your photos are amazing... I am JEALOUS.

Mama G said...

Brilliant! We're going to try this at home! :-)

Christina_the_wench said...

We all should try this. Jim just ignores me until I lose my mind and do it myself. Hey. I just realized.....

slackermommy said...

That's so funny! I do the same thing.

Irish Church Lady :) said...

Whenever I use "we" I mean "you" too. It just sounds more politically correct that way. Now of course if it's something I'm gonna do and I want the credit for it, it will be "I" as in "I'm gonna clean ..." or "How do you like how I ....?" LMAO He understands me. I am blessed.

Anonymous said...

this is a test.