Wednesday, September 13, 2006

My Daughter Fang

Last night we were engaging in some horizontal parenting... you know, where you lie on the floor while the children play around you.

You can totally use your arms and talk for horizontal parenting but you don't actually have to sit up or anything.

We are such good parents. We've got skills.


Anyway, as I've talked about before here and here, Rooster Girl likes to try to crawl up between my legs as though to return to her ancestral home. But never before last night have I seen her try to crawl up K's butt.

Witness, if you will, Roo trying to crawl up into K's butt:

Up She Goes

Upon realizing that this was simply NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, she became enraged, like a wild dog.

Like a WILD DOG, I tell you.

I just happened to be snapping photos in the room and captured the EXACT moment when she BIT. HIM. IN. THE. ASS.


Yeeeeouch!

Can you see the look on his face? Her teeth are deep within his butt cheek at the precise moment captured here.

K cried out in surprise and pain.

Horizontal parenting was brought to an abrupt end.


I was being all sympathetic and supportive and said, "Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"

K has historically relied on me for my supportive, comforting nature... like that one time in Zimbabwe when this Lion cub bit him right in the ass...


zi - gweru 6

BWAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

No biting, Roo!

NO BITING ROO!

Seriously Roo, no biting!

(BWAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!)

27 comments:

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute pictures. Love her room by the way. I like that rug with the roads to play cars on.

I love horizontal parenting as well. It's a good thing it entertains them, maybe that was designed to work since parents are so freaking tired we can't even stand a lot of the time.

Lisa

Natsthename said...

Is it bad that I love that you had the camera out and ready to capture your hubby in pain from the bite?? tee hee. *evil laugh*

Waya said...

I'm sorry but that was me laughing out loud over here. That was so funny and I can definitely see Kevin's pained face. Those little rugrats can really bite. My 18 months old daughter can gnaw on my shoulders and it hurt like heck!!

slackermommy said...

Too funny! Knowing my luck one of my rugrats would do that to me the night before I have a gyno appointment. Could you see me explaining that one?

Domestic Chicky said...

We are also fans of the horizontal parenting...How else can I get a quick nap and know where my kids are at the same time? Hehehe

Emma Kaufmann said...

That is so damn cute. Luckily Ruby didn't bite him in the balls, or his expression would have been one of fury not shock.

Oh, The Joys said...

Lisa G - That is Owen's room. Thanks for the compliment on the rug - it's just an el cheapo from Home Depot.

liberalbanana said...

Wow, I bet that hurt a lot! Poor Kevin. Maybe you should get a muzzle a la Silence of the Lambs for Ruby?

carmachu said...

So I assume you kissed his boo-boo and made it all better?

Melissa said...

I am cracking up! You people and the butts!

ditto what Carmachu said...

Pendullum said...

Oh...I am howling...

I once was a nanny, in my youth...and one of my charges, bit my sister in the crotch while playfighting... He was three years old...

I took him off my mortified, eight year old sister and said' Now, G, you don't bite people there!'

And his reply?

'Why not? My daddy does it to my mommy ALL the time!

I tell ya, that lead to the embarassing moment at the end of the day when I had to tell G'sparents to get a lock for their bedroom door...

The Medium Swede said...

Joy, that is priceless. We live in Palatine Illinois. I grew up in Wheeling Illinois class of 1981.

Haven't we all had a baby bite our ass?!

Christina_the_wench said...

OMG I just pissed myself. That is HILARIOUS!

Gotta go change now....

suz said...

You're a nut. Go ice your husband's arse!

Plain Jane Mom said...

HA -- that's a good one! Chip has gotten a little 'bitish' too. They think it is so funny. Toddlers...

Diana said...

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
TOO DAMN FUNNY!
Poor Kevin :(

Now excuse me, I have to see if I can find that rug and put it in my living room...

theresa said...

That is sooooo funny! I got swatted by a full grown lion once.

julia said...

Oh my god, I'm crying.

Well done having that camera handy. :D

bubandpie said...

Horizontal parenting is very much an "at-your-own-risk" thing around my house. You lie down because you're tired, and the next thing you know you've got two children bouncing up and down on your bladder. At least it always makes me glad I'm not pregnant.

Hilarious post.

mothergoosemouse said...

That is AWESOME.

Yep, I've been the personal jungle gym. And like Roo, CJ bites. So I guess I'm the personal teething ring too.

Fran said...

Pendullum, that is one of the damndest funniest things I have EVER heard. Oh good lord!

Megan said...

Hahah! Way to be with the camera in the right place at the right time, or is it wrong time, Kevin? Looks like Seattle was a hit! Next time you should head a little further north :)

quinn said...

Don't you wish you had it on video..america's funniest videos would have surely been the big winner..those are way way funny pics.

mad muthas said...

oh that's so funny! thanks for posting a link to it or i might never have read it. so great you have your priorities straight - never mind trying to prise open the cruel fangs of the daughter - get a picture so everyone else can have a good laugh *weak with laughter*

Lotta said...

Hilarious! Husband has a cute butt, I can understand the need to bite it. But ouch!

I've been practicing the horizontal parenting a little too much lately. Son is constantly fetching things for me. I might have to start tipping him soon.

Shawn said...

Oh, that's too funny! That is exactly what I would be doing, too, when my DH is horizontal parenting. We do a lot of that around here. Skilz abound!

Bastet said...

That was hysterical! I never have my camera ready for moments like those...I really need to have one around my neck. That was great!