Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Better Half

I was recently at a party where I ran into Lecherous Guy, the husband of a random acquaintance.

The way Lecherous Guy
looks and talks with women other than his wife always gives me the feeling that he is sniffing out potential extra-marital affairs. He's never said anything overt to me, but my Ick-O-Meter goes nuts when he is around.

Lecherous Guy rico-suave-ed over to me when I was standing alone (ick) and asked, "Where's your worse half?"

I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Lecherous Guy, if you actually knew K and I, even a little bit, you would realize that K is BY FAR the better half of this equation" and I walked away from him because ick.

I wasn't kidding about K being our better half. He is a kind and honest person who does more than his fair share and all while not living in Spain and suffering the Mighty Wind.

I totally won the husband sweepstakes but as his co-parent... I got the SHAFT.

The problem with K being the better half is that my children know it.

My life as a parent has given new meaning to the question, "What am I, chopped liver?"

The Mayor and Rooster Girl fight over who K will carry out to the car and react with viole
nt rage to the mere suggestion that perhaps mommy could do it. Tears, snot, high decibel protesting...

Mommy sucks.

Last night, when The Mayor realized it was my turn to read his bed time stories, he lost it.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO READ! I WANT DADDY! NO, MOMMY! NOT YOU!"

[high pitched wailing]


[repeat]

I finally had to take away his story privileges. There were no bed time stories last night and that has never happened before.

I never lost my cool with him, but... my feelings got hurt.


I know The Mayor is only two but sometimes
I can't help but take it personally and feel all sorry for myself.

[pity party]

The only recourse I can think of is to start crying and wailing for K to carry ME out to the car.

But I won't because I know he would totally do it.

Breathe.

Balance.


21 comments:

mad muthas said...

actually. chopped liver is rather nice. i had some a while ago and i was expecting it to be ghastly - y'know - because of its proverbial use, but it was yummy. so if you ARE chopped liver, then you're easily good enough for me - particularly on crackers.

Kristin said...

I am on my way out and numero uno in our household... Dad is suddenly way more fun and I am just sort of the rules and regulations gal...

Plain Jane Mom said...

The only time I was #1 was during the first year of their lives, and that was only because Daddy didn't have the magic milk-boobs.

Try relactating! That'll teach him!

Momish said...

I see it going in cycles at our house. One day it's me, the next it is my husband. I think it's wherever the fun is and the discipline is not! They are fickle that way. And, yet it does hurt even when we know it shouldn't.

Sayre said...

My husband is the "fun" one, and I am the "drill sargeant". I have tried to explain that we BOTH need to enforce rules and good behavior, but I get stuck doing it most of the time.

But on the other hand, my son knows that he can trust me and that I will take care of him no matter what - and it's me that gets called for nightmares or feeling sick. Daddy is of no use to him when he really needs special cuddling of the healing sort.

Lisa said...

Boy can I relate!!!! My husband is Mr. Fun and my son totally prefers him and stories read by him etc.. So not fair.


Lisa

Christina_the_wench said...

K is what my hubby calls...'butter'. I am the Parkay in our family.

queenbadmama said...

The kids love Da (Big Daddy) because he's like "No! I said no! Well, okay, but just one!"

But I have to say that at bedtime, everybody wants me.

Stephanie said...

Sorry you had to deal with that.
I "kind of" know how you feel because K really likes to stare at J (Dad). He studies every move J makes, I swear. Me, I'm the mean one who makes him take a bath.

floosen said...

This is the story of my life, and seriously one of the biggest heartbreaks. It's not just that Nick gets to be the fun guy, but Monkey LOVES him in a fundamentally different way than he does me. His is the name called at night, his are the nighttime rituals, his is the hand to hold, even when I haven't seen him all weekend. I never thought that I'd be jealous of this, but I am. But, then again, I never thought I wouldn't be the one... sigh.

jennster said...

awww- that is tough. and no matter how rational you can be and think about it, it still hurts your feelings, you know?

i love what you said to gross ranky face guy

emma said...

I have never encountered this problem myself, my hubs and I are equally loved/hated by les sprogs. But I reckon you are just having a bad day. Tomorrow the Mayor is sure to prefer you, and then K will be jealous, non?

Fran said...

Tonight getting in the car: NO! I WANT DADA TO OPEN MY CAR DOOR!

Geez o petes.

Tears and everything. What gives?

Betty said...

My hubbie is "good time Dad" b/c he will play all sort of games with the kids, but it's still ME who the boys want to read them story b/c mommy reads and acts out better!! HA! In your face daddy!! But since he's been travelling, the kids will gravitate to him when he gets home, esp. my little girl.

Izzy said...

Hey! Blogger ate my comment!

jen said...

he sounds like a gem...and while i totally understand what you are saying...but dam... go, you.

Gina said...

Ditto what Plain Jane Mom said. Why does it have to be so opposite? We sacrifice so much as mothers, but get the shaft most of the time from the kiddos! Dads come home, make a joke, poke/prod the kiddo for giggles and TADA... a hero! When will cleaning, cooking, diapering, bathing, feeding and waking-in-the-night-5-times make mom the hero?

mothergoosemouse said...

K and Kyle sound very similar. I think we both won the spouse lottery, and same goes for the co-parent lottery. I'd gladly take a co-parent whom the children adore over one whom they avoid, especially when he gladly embraces the role of co-parent, dirty work and all.

Ponygirl said...

It seems the adorable children are not yet appreciating the subtleties of your humor. Because you are really much funnier than K. And you give better hugs too! Balance...that is such a nice image. A friend described her 18-month-old's reaction to her husband being gone on a business trip. The poor little boy picked up his daddy's clothes from the laundry room and carried them around crying. Heart-breaking but guess what? She normally has to sit in the back seat with the kid because the boy is so attached to HER. True story.

Island Spice said...

I think I know Lecherous Guy's Barbadian cousin. Exact same ICK line.
Please please please let K carry you out to the car on behalf of those of us who have NO SUCH OPTIONS! :)

Mamma said...

It goes in cycles in our house too.

Always carry gum. You'll see your popularity soar!!

As for Lecherous Guy..we sort of have him over here (we call him creepy guy), but he tries to sell us all life insurance. Why do our friends need to marry such weirdos?