Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Making Chicken with Jesus

Yesterday I was, you know, thinking about it.

So when K came home from work I told him that I had been thinking about it.


"You feel like chicken tonight?" he asked.


"Oh, yes."


[
Girl in her Underwear would use the code word "meatloaf" instead of chicken, but The Lady Flabina is
keeping it light.]

Here at House of Joy, it is always helpful if K or I let each other know that tonight's the lucky night.

The advanced notice allows the other person to anticipate the...er...pillowtalk.

After The Mayor and Rooster Girl finally passed out from their respective howling about bedtime, K began fiddling with the iPod to find some musical accompaniment.


It is no secret that, in my opinion, K is the world's slowest operator of any and all electronic devices except for power tools.

I must have been in a hurry to get to the naked part because, to move things along, I suggested that he put the iPod on shuffle on one of our more mellow singer-songwriter playlists.

Clearly I need to make a "Chicken Tonight" playlist because random iPod shuffling is not always what you need...

In the
passionate throws of Making Chicken, the iPod started to play a classic country gospel tune by Jimmy Rodgers called "Just a Closer Walk with Thee."

This turned the Making of Chicken into a true Festival of Blasphemy.

Just a closer walk with Thee,

"OH, YES!!"

Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,

"Oh, oh, oooooooooooooooooo!"

Daily walking close to Thee,

"Yes, BABY!!"

Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.


-SIGH-

Today we are preparing to roast in hell for all eternity.



49 comments:

Sarah said...

yes, you definitely need a specific playlist. :)

Deb said...

I am learning not to read your blog when I really should have gone to pee first!!!

Mrs. Chicken said...

Making chicken .... oh my. I may never feel the same about dinnertime again!

Girl In Her Underwear said...

You are HI-larious! I think you should "have chicken" to "Bird is the word!" song....ba, ba, ba, bird, bird, bird! Bird is the word! It's more of a Benny Hill type mood, and I think it might require everything to move really fast, but it may be better than gospel hour on Hee Haw.

No offense though about "Closer Walk With Thee." Great song, I just never thought about having sex to it. ;-)

Karana said...

oh. my. gosh.

i now have tears in my eyes. lol

Iris/Rissy said...

OMGoodness!!! Making Chicken...... never heard it referred to in such a way!! And the musical accompaniment, classic.

I do hope you are working on your playlist!

Slackermommy said...

You crack me up! We use "mommy and daddy time" for our code words but my 8 year old must be getting an idea of what that means because we are getting "Ewww, gross" when it's mentioned. Maybe we should start making chicken. During our long car ride this weekend I teased hubby about licking a popsicle and when we got home she looked in the freezer for a popsicle for me.

jen said...

you are so utterly funny, woman.

making chicken with jesus.

i think that is the best title ever, and your post was hilarious, and yahoo for you.

Sayre said...

Oh! I think to make up for all the blasphemy, you should roast a chicken and say grace over it tonight...

Perhaps you should add "Here Comes Santa Claus" to your playlist...

Mamma said...

Honey you are on a roll!!

I'm wiping tears from my eyes over here. I got to get my lame ass going to be a bit more entertaining to keep up with the likes of you. No wonder it's known as the House of Joy!

mothergoosemouse said...

I agree - a Making Chicken playlist is needed, stat. I think those lyrics would've been enough to make me toss the chicken back in the refrigerator.

Penny said...

We eat cake. lol!

Great post! LOL!

Isepik said...

Once you've made that playlist, please be sure to post a few of the titles to your blog. :)

It might inspire some of us lame ducks to make a playlist for the occasion.

Christina said...

Somehow I could just hear our little brood saying "Chicken AGAIN!"

No, another code word would be better for us I think...but this is priceless!!

Very funny...

S. said...

LMAO!
I needed that today.

Jess Riley said...

I knew I would like this post by the title alone.

The Medium Swede said...

Hmmm, me thinks the turkey neck thing wasn't that bad.... huh?

Do you prance around singing the commercial tune, "I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight"?

I prepare TSK by saying in my best Apocalypse now voice, "Incoming!"

TSK, no need to refute this, I am allowed artistic license, right?

Moobs said...

So now it's Oh Oh ooooooooooooooo the Joys!

wordgirl said...

Religious music during sex is just a giant buzzkill. Either that, or I would be laughing so hard that I couldn't eat my...you know...chicken.

wendy boucher said...

Euphemisms give me such great pleasure. Thank you for the new one to add to my list.

Moobs said...

Never mind religious music - what are do your guardian angels do? Turn their gaze? Play cards downstairs?

Tabba said...

Love love LOVE this post! You rawk, rawk, RAWK!

Diana said...

I really, really, really have to stop reading you at work...lol!

Christina_the_wench said...

So this brings a whole new meaning to Chicken Helper, no?

Ponygirl said...

I think you're still heavenbound. Jesus loves the boinking as long as it's not FORNICATION! Having said that, I'm convinced that Jesus doesn't mind if I get a little too, even if I didn't jump the broom.

Mel said...

LMAO!!!!
You kill me. You really do.

kim said...

lmfao! bok bok bok

BlondeMom said...

OH DEAR LORD...this is too hilarious.

Damn, you have a playlist? We are so behind the times. That might help our makin' chicken quota.

At least it wasn't One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus by Christy Lane. ;)

Penny said...

You've inspired me. I sadly have to really work for my cake. I'm always dolling it up and slipping subtle magic words or looks ~ always going for the soft sell. He's always too tired and just wants to watch a movie. Well, thinking about chicken and cake, today, I realized that maybe we aren't on the same mental-note all the time. Maybe I need to implant the idea hours before, like warming the oven. So, I prepared my daily love note for TDOW's lunch tomorrow. I'll post it here, after I send it, if I have the nerve. Come and visit, if you like, it's my non-mommy-blog. (for the not easily offended.)

;)

Thanks for the idea!

Cece said...

That was such a funny and cute post! *lol*

Penny said...

www.superkittyjumpsoff.blogspot.com

I haven't posted it, yet. But, I will.. I'm trying to get the nerve to pack it in his lunch. It's not quite dirty.. but, it's highly suggestive.. no, no.. it's a risque... well.. it'd be X-rated in the theatre. But, it's not graphic or crude. Well, maybe graphic but not crude. But, in any case, it's not up yet.. If I fold it into his sandwich wrap ~ I'll post it. Wish me luck.

*sigh*

I love cake.
Or, chicken.

lol!

See you there!

Starrlight said...

Ooh, you are so gonna burn in hell for that. You and your chicken! Get on that playlist asap.

Amber said...

Get it? Roast? Hah ha!! :-)

Momish said...

You are killing me here! There is nothing like a good hallelujah chorus as a soundtrack to making chicken, that's for sure.

Natsthename said...

But at least you'll be there in hell roasting with the rest of us blasphemers!

PunditMom said...

I'm sorry ... I can't stop laughing! This one was great!

Island Spice said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I am falling off my chair laughing!! I honestly don't think u will burn in hell.. its MARITAL sex.. all to the GLORY!! :)
Its us fornicators who need to worry! All the same a suitable playlist needs to be done ASAP!
Wow.. I didn't know people needed codes and advance warning...

Kristen said...

I don't know what's funnier- a gospel song coming on during, or the fact that you say "I feel like chicken tonight!" That is the BEST euphamism I've ever heard for "it." And it also reminds me of those commercials from the early 90's (I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight, chicken toniiiiight!!!)

urban-urchin said...

I can't get the tune of the commerical out of my head now, thanks. "I feel like Chicken Tonight, Chicken Tonight"

Does anyone else remember those commericals?

Jenny said...

Bwawawahahahahahaha!

Can't. stop. laughing.

I've done it to gospel music before...but not to gospel that reminds me of my grandmother.

PS. Urban-Urchin - Me too. I'll have that in my head all day.

KC said...

My first time to your blog- Holy Shit that was funny.

More power to you for making chicken in trying cimcumstances. My husband and I- we would have both busted out laughing. But, what else is new?

Lotta said...

Very funny! Though I wondered if you were going somewhere else with the comment about your husband's difficulty operating machinery.

Our warm up goes like this. "Kid's are napping."

sweatpantsmom said...

You crack me up. And now, because of you I'll have to serve beef tonight instead...

Piper said...

LMAO that's just too much!!!

karrie said...

*snort!* Some of the comments are almost as funny as the original post.

Da said...

It's Chicken Tonight! (while we pause for a moment to remember our Maker) Bwhahahahahaha!
Congrats on your ROFL Award

fin said...

I'm blushing.

anne said...

Came here via the November ROFL award list. Congrats!

Hilarious post. I would have had to change the song due to laughing.

imaginary binky said...

HAHA! This made me think of that old Shake N' Bake commercial where the little girl says, "And I helped!"
Although, that adds an even more disturbing element to your story. Carry on.