Friday, November 10, 2006

Santa Can Ride My Duck

I can't really understand the Christmas phenomenon.

The Mayor, who is only two and a half, is already obsessed with Christmas.


How can this be?


He routinely begs us to play the song "Jingle Bells" over and over again so he can march in circles around the dining room table waving a set of bells in the air while singing along at the top of his lungs.

He can't shut up about getting a tree for the house though he's mostly interested in getting it on top of the car.

On the day after Halloween
, he saw a display of fake Christmas trees, lights and ornaments at the grocery store.

"HEY MOM!" he roared.

"LOOK IT'S CHRISTMAS! CAN I GET A BIKE?"
How did this happen? This is SO not my fault.

Last night he was marching around the house with one of those heinous, awful, make-me-want-to-claw-my-ears-off, duck noise makers from a "RIDE THE
DUCKS" tourist attraction.

QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!

Incessant non-stop quacking....

QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK!

I wished for
immediate death or spontaneous contraction of narcolepsy.

I stopped him and begged him to PLEASE -- STOP -- QUACKING!!!!!!!!!


QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!

Finally The Mayor paused from quacking to say,

"MOM, CAN SANTA BRING ME A BIKE?"

I told him that Santa only brings toys to good boys and girls and asked him if he thought he could be a good boy, who LISTENS to his Mommy and doesn't make her count to three, from now until Christmas.


He said, "sure"and then,

QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

20 comments:

Karana said...

I think little ones like Jingle Bells just because the words are fairly simple, somewhat repetitive... and it begs to be sung LOUDLY. What's not to love?! (From a kids point of view, anyway!)

My kids seem to be surprisingly mellow about Christmas this year - probably only because they seem to be hyper-focused on their birthdays... which aren't until March and September. Have they forgotten about Christmas? I guess they'll catch up with all the hype in a couple of more weeks.

Girl In Her Underwear said...

Let the orgy of greed begin! Quack! Please tell me you didn't really post this at 5:43 a.m. That makes me want to throw up just thinking about being awake at that hour! :D

sandra_lm said...

LOL!! You always, always make me laugh.

This is fast becoming my favorite place to visit on the web.

Just keep 'em coming. :-)

Iris/Rissy said...

Well, as far as I am concerned, Santa can "ride my duck" too. I love this new phrase you coined, I am going to find a way to use it in conversation this weekend.

Mamma said...

My Mr. 2 wants every toy he sees on commercials now. And he won't stop asking you for it until you acknowledge that he wants it.

Though I've found a silver lining...the Hasbro catalogue came the other day and we used that to distract him for a little quiet time for at least a week.

"Balls!" I love it!!

marina said...

hey, thank god my son isn't into all the xmas hoopla, actually in costa rica, it's not as bad as it is in the states.
why did you sis live in san jose?
what did she do here?
ciao

Sayre said...

From October to December 25th, my son's main conversation consists of "ooooo.... I want that!"

Jess Riley said...

That Mayor. He really quacks me up. :)

jen said...

the power of consumerism on the littlest ones. wow. thank GOD, M who is not too far behind the Mayor, has no idea. and I am keeping it that way.

urban-urchin said...

Yes the "But Mommy what if Santa doesn't make those at his workshop? Shouldn't you just buy it for me now?" has begun. The girl's birthday is Nov. 5 so the gimme- gimmes start sometime in oh Sept around here..

Starrlight said...

I hate the fact that the Christmas season now seems to begin the very first day of October. Bleah.

Heather said...

I think it is ingrained in them, even before they are born! Haley said the other day, I can't wait until I get my (insert expensive toy here) for Christmas. She is so used to getting what she wants, it didn't even enter her mind to say, "IF"! UGH! BAH, HUMBUG! :)
How do you instill a sense of gratitude and appreciation? I need to know, I am FAILING miserably!

Momish said...

I am glad at times my little one hasn't caught on the Christmas thing yet. But, I love the holidays so I know it will be ingrained her thanks to me!

julia said...

My two year-old hasn't cottoned on to Christmas yet and I'm hoping that my general snarkiness and curmudgeonly attitude with rub off on her and she'll tolerate Christmas with the all the eye-rolling smirkiness that I do. I'm not holding my breath, though. She is half her dad's child and he's Katie Couric's twin when it comes to chirpy optimism. Oy.

Fran said...

I love that the pic of the mayor in the previous post had him crying and clutching the jingle bells. HA!

Fran.

hautemama said...

the mayor is at such a great age...to believe in the magic...enjoy!

Penny said...

I have absolutely banned christmas music from January 1st until November 31st, every year. Oee has even picked up on this and only tests me once in a while, making up her own words to the tune of dashing through the snow. URgh.. after one month of incessant commericalized renditions of old classics, I am absolutely stuffed sick of them. But, I love christmas music, otherwise.

As for Santa, I don't have to worry about that. Oee never bugs me about getting toys or what Santa will bring. I told her early on that Santa wasn't real, but that he was a tradition and I explained that he was a saint and why we give gifts, like the wise men did. She still plays into it a little, but then she'll cock her head and wink at me and so, she's found a good balance between reality and fantasy - Thank goodness.

The part we have the most trouble with is the Christmas sweets - Oee can't have sugar and so the chocolate calendars are especially hard for her not to desire.

I love this blog. You are very funny. Love the picture of your boy - below!

Marcie said...

What a good little consumer he is! No matter that he didn't learn it from you, I think the capatalists put something in the water.
I feel for you, what is it? Only Nov 11th?!?!?!

mad muthas said...

the mayor should come and live in the uk. christmas starts here as soon as the sunblock is reduced to half price. honest - harrods christmas shops opened in august, the decorations are up in town already, the supermarkets had whole aisles or cards, decorations and gift since the kids went back to school at the start of september. maybe having thanksgiving gives you some kind of distraction but for us, from the end of the summer hols all you can see looming up ahead is christmas. it's enough to make the cheeriest of us say 'bah humbug!'. that's why our latest novel, 'the xmas factor' makes more sense in the uk than anywhere else, i reckon!

Waya said...

I can't believe Xmas is in 42 days or something like that! So, I guess a Duck tour is out of the question for you then. Quack Quack!!