Thursday, December 14, 2006

Dana Knows What She Likes

First, we had to convince The Mayor that he had a hole in his butt.

Then, we had to learn the name of the hole.


That would be D-A-N-A.

And Dana is it's name-oh.


Now?


Let's learn Dana's personal preferences.

Because we're all butts and poo all the time here at House of Joy...

..you take this journey with me.

Lucky you.

This morning Rooster Girl screamed her head off while K took her temperature.

The Mayor was on the potty absent-mindedly and rythmically kicking me in the boobs.

"Why is Roo crying?" he asked.

"She doesn't like having her temperature taken," I told him.

"Is she having her temperature taken in her butt?" The Mayor wanted to know.

"She is," I said.

"She doesn't like it?"


"No. She doesn't."

"I DO like it!"

Fantastic.

Where am I and how did I get here?




22 comments:

The Medium Swede said...

I guess it depends on who takes the temperature!

Blog Antagonist said...

Oh my. I forgot about naming the hole. That Dana, she's kinda easy, huh?

I'm totally LOL. You know why.

Sandra Miller said...

So glad we opted to name our daughter, Evan, instead of our "number two" choice, Dana.

Of course now the name will always be associated with "number two."

Nat said...

OMG! Dana is a HO!

But that's okay, because I'm hysterical over here. Your kids are very creative. Just pray you never hear the words, "I'm just feeding Dana a snack!" from them. :)

wendy boucher said...

Dana, huh? Girlie never named hers. Although she did start calling her girlie parts her "utsey." I like it. I'll bet if I said "utsey," in a crowd, they'd all know what I was talking about.

QT said...

Too f'n funny - oh, the Mayor and his brutal, brutal honesty!

Heather said...

TOO FUNNY! I shudder to think the name my son could muster, if given the chance. Now, if I could only convince Cooper to use Dana to dispose of waste in the toilet! You must save this post and show it to him when he is about sixteen! I just know he will appreciate it!!!!!!!!

urban-urchin said...

I love the Mayor I really do. He's so freaking funny.

jen said...

that dana. she's easy, that dana.

i'm with rooster.

Lotta said...

God you consistently crack me up. WHY did you move from the Midwest? Why?

Recently, I had to change my daughter's diaper. But lucky me opened up midpoo. Got a vision I can't seem to burn from my brain. Since I shunned the mirror during childbirth I suppose seeing her DANA enlarged to the size of her head was my karmic payback.

Kristin said...

Which is why the ear thermometer is my very best friend.

Inaccurate, but easy.

Sort of like Dana...

suz said...

your blog makes me not able to wait for the day Lucy can speak her mind :) And I wish my family didn't read my blog, so I could rant and rave about lube haha! (now I'm going to try and find htat brand up here in Canada, eh?)

mommy605 said...

Oh goodness. That is hilarious! The Mayor needs his own comedy hour. I'd totally pay for a ticket.

Mommy off the Record
http://www.mommyofftherecord.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I spit OJ at my screen.
Thank you, Mayor.
LOL!
~Diana from Stuck in Elmo's World.

Heather said...

Okay, I had to rush home and let you know that your posts are now affecting my job! Today, as I began a chapter in the book I am reading to my students, I burst out in fits of hysterical laughter. Why, might you ask, did I lose my composure? The main character in the aforementioned book's name was.......( wait for it).....DANA! I fear my students think I have lost my mind!

Mrs. T said...

I'm more of a Rooster kind of girl. Dana should be exit-only.

mad muthas said...

the mayor seems very continental in his attitudes. the french treat absolutely EVERYTHING with suppositories. my poor sister, while on a french exchange, had chicken pox and, being a nice english girl, valiantly swallowed the suppositories prescribed by the french doctors. to have introduced them to dana would not have occured to her, even for a moment!

Girl In Her Underwear said...

AHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I totally forgot about Dana. Y'all crack me up!

carmachu said...

Ahahahahahahaha!

As an aside:

You might want to consider getting teh exergen temperal scanners. Rub it across their head and then behind the ear and it gives an accurate temperature....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Funny!! I know I am going to remember this and crack up in a really inappropriate place tomorrow.(No pun intended.)

Waya said...

Ouch Mommy!! We used one of those temperal thermometer and it works just as well.

Mamma said...

The kid's got to take that act on the road. Could really help defray the college costs.