On a cold and wintery night, a girlfriend and I were walking back to her house on the dark and deserted streets of Chicago.
After awhile there was a group of guys walking behind us.
They sounded drunk.
They were getting closer to us.
We quickened our step.
They started making cat calls and yelling "hey baby's".
I started to feel a chill beyond that of the Chicago cold.
I stopped walking.
I turned around.
I squared my shoulders to them....
...and in the most nasal, Long Island accent I could muster I said,
"Not tonight guys. I'm a little GASSY."
Works like a charm every time.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Fight Injustice with Gas
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22 comments:
I'll have to remember that one.
Match that up with some real gas action and that would really drive them away!
Amusing.....although I'm not sure it work all the time....some just dont care...
Ha! That's awesome.
you are hilarious...
yet scary, scary, scary, that cold winter night.
i long to walk alone and fearless at 2am.
OH! I am LOVING that one!!
LOL! Did you prove it to them? ;)
(BTW, seriously, I am really, really enjoying your blog. Thanks for commenting on mine, to let dimwitted me know you're out there.)
oh, I just LOVE you!!!
AAhhhahahhhahhaa. I love that one!!
Well, you could also mention that you have the flu and might throw up on them. Not everyone minds a fart, but almost everybody will run from vomit.
Too funny! Oh to be a fly on the wall......
C'mon - let's hear the rest of the story! What did they SAY in return?!
Ha ha! No way! I can't believe it worked!!!! Does it work on husbands? Tee hee!
*grin* Good one!
Excellent! And I love that you are in the Midwest. I shall imagine we have a martini date! But not in a creepy way. More of a let's make cookies and drink spiked eggnog kind of way! Then you will be really gassy.
You. Are. The Queen of Awesome.
I love it.
I'm happy to be a fan of yours....hysterical
I love you.
I loved you before, but now...now this is beyond. There's a deep, deep Heat Miser like reverence bond thing going on.
I bow to Jessica.
You are an evil genius.
I use that excuse on my hubby. Works like a charm.
See, some guys get turned on by that, so I'm glad that it worked this time.
In all seriousness, my brother who is a cop said the best things to turn off some guy who's being flirtatious or scary or both, is to pick your nose and hock a loogie.
Haven't tried it yet...
I LOVE it!
STOP! Or I'll fart!
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