Saturday, December 23, 2006


Three days before Christmas found me without a gift (or even an idea for a gift) for He Who Does Not Live in Spain.

The daycare my children attend closed for the holidays two days ago and I've been home with The Mayor and Rooster Girl doing toddler things.

Luckily, K got off work early today and took the kids for a ride on the commuter train so I could go shopping.

We agreed that I would meet him back at the train station in an hour and a half.

I pulled in to the train station to pick them up with time to spare.

It was lightly raining and grey outside, a little gloomy.

The train station, usually bustling with commuters at 5:30, was relatively deserted.

I hoped people had the day off to spend with their families.

In the distance, I heard a siren.

It was headed towards the station and grew increasingly loud as it neared.

A feeling of dread came over me.

I saw an ambulance race by, lights flashing.

I imagined the worst.

I worried K, The Mayor and Rooster were the ones that had been hurt.

I wrung my hands that their descent into the train station was the last time I would ever see them.

I remembered The Rooster's sweet face as she turned to me and, in her just learning to talk voice yelled, "Bye Mama!"

I felt guilty for being secretly excited about having the afternoon off, to myself, solo.

I saw a lone headlight and an east bound train pull into the station.

A man with a stroller crossed the bridge.

I turned off the car and got out.

The Mayor ran to me, flung himself into my arms and I threw him in the air. The Rooster followed.

Every day is a gift.


Mel said...

You are so right.
Merry Christmas.
And thanks for making me CRY!

Mamma said...

Oh the only way I could keep reading is that I knew you wouldn't be blogging about such a tragic event so soon.

Thank you for recounting this story. The guilt...the worry...the joy...ah motherhood!!

Have a fabulous Christmas!!

mamatulip said...

So true.

So, so true. :)

Momish said...

You said it, sister! My daughter woke up today, looked at me and said "Hi Mama" and my heart melted. What wrapped item stuffed in a box could be better than that!

Sayre said...

I always worry when the timing of an ambulance or some other siren seems too close to the anticipated arrival/departure of a loved one. I WAS that timely siren once and I hope that I don't put anyone or have anyone put me through that again. Sometimes sirens are like the alarm clocks that wake you up to what's really important.

Merry Christmas, J!

Plain Jane said...

I worry like that too. I'm so glad it turned out well.

Paige said...

Oh the joys, indeed! Wonderful post. Hope you and yours have a fabulous holiday!

carmachu said...

Yes dear, yes it is. Yow never enjoy it.

Tabba said...

It absolutely is..thanks for this post today.

Blog Antagonist said...

Good gravy, that must be a woman thing. I do that every time.

The other day, PPO and I were coming home from shopping. Husband and DO were out doing secret stuff too. One of the roads we take home was closed to traffic. Policemen were everywhere. On the detour, we saw a lifeflight helicopter and two firetrucks parked in an elementary school parking lot. So naturally I assumed that Husand and DO had been killed in a horrible accident.

Women. Snort.

urban-urchin said...

Yes it is. Thanks for this post- Merry Christmas.

patience said...

Life is a gift from God! Every day we wake up is one more gift!

Merry Christmas! Here's wishing a 2007 filled with joy, good health, growing faith!

Karen Forest said...

Merry Christmas!

Until the day we die we will be plagued with that mother worry. My kids are three and 18 months and I still go into there room to make sure they are breathing. ***sigh***

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Yes, how true. Beautiful post today.


wendy boucher said...

Very well said. Thank you.

Panda said...

Are you kidding me? You dont know what to get K?

Why, a Park Ranger uniform of course! Its the gift that keeps on giving.

Just like those little faces being excited to see you.

Messy Kweznuz!

Lisa said...

YOu are so very right. Every day IS a gift. (And I imagine the worst too sometimes too.)

jen said...

it's in those moments, isn't it. when you realize how much time you've spent not actually living.

carrie said...

UGH! I know that feeling well. You are right, every day is a gift.

Merry Christmas!


Starrlight said...

Oh those little wake up calls in life are so stressful, are they not! Never fear,you seem to have your priorities in the right places!

Sandra Miller said...

This one really got to me.

A beautiful entry.

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas!

Heather said...

I think every mom can relate to these feelings! I am so glad everything worked out okay! Merry Chrismtas!

Lotta said...

It surely is.

hk said...

Things similar to that always make me want to eat the girls up. It's wonderful how at this age they're just as elated to see you.

Lovely post.

Mona said...

OTJ, those sounds are my worst fears realized. This is such a great way to capture that, a fear mothers share.

karrie said...

I also have those pangs of guilt whenever I score some time off. Will they be involved in a horrible accident on the way to Costco? I should have gone with them, blah, blah,blah.

Merry ho!