Thursday, January 25, 2007

Land of The Lost

The other night K said that sometimes he thought I was "lost in the blogosphere."

He didn't mean anything by it other than "What are you doing on the internet when we could be gettin' nekkid, woman!" as commentary on how much time I spend reading blogs.

I've been thinking a lot about that what he said.

Am I lost in the blogosphere?


The question has me thinking about why I am so sucked in.

The first thing that comes to mind is that I am amazed by the community of it all.

I have "met" some fascinating, funny, honest, raw, smart, powerful, creative, hilarious, bold women and men through this weird on-line Mom-and-Dad-or-Not-O-Sphere.

There are some that I wake up and go to sleep worrying about, there are some who's every word I hang on and there are some that make me laugh at the simplest things.

I imagine meeting virtual friends in person and I wonder if it would feel like we had known each other for a long time.

Alternatively, I worry that the connection I feel with "virtual" friends would, in "real life" feel more like too much intimacy achieved too quickly so that everything would be awkward...

LOTL Sleestacks

Are we all just having a giant one night stand, going ALL THE WAY with each other before we've been properly introduced?

Would we like each other in real life and does that even matter?

I know more about many fellow bloggers than I do about my neighbors -- and I have great neighbors.

Should I be putting more time and energy into relationships with real live people?



Even though I would be a stranger in person, there are some bloggers whose personal space I believe I would simply not be able to respect if I met them.

lotl 4

I would be COMPELLED to get all up in their business with overly aggressive hugs, sloppy dog-lick smooches and all-the-way-up-to-the-nostrils loving.

I have found a ton of support and validation around parenting and motherhood in this forum.

Am I lost?


I don't know.
I don't know.


urban-urchin said...

Aww. I wasn't given you shit (not really). Okay maybe a little.

This is a good post. My husband doesn't understand my blog thing either (and thankfully doesn't read mine so I don't feel the need to edit what I would say). I wonder about the real life thing too. But the conclusion I've come to is that the blogosphere has given me an opportunity to 'meet' people who for whatever reason I wouldn't have otherwise and I am grateful for this. Finding a balance is tough but it can be done I think.

Also? I'm the first commenter... (I am five years old)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the shout-out.

I have actually met some people in "real life" that I originally met online. Admittedly most of the relationships had developed to phone conversations before meeting, but the origins are internet based. Also, these are people I emailed and chatted with extensively. Oh, and they weren't blog friends; this was before I started blogging.

With all the disclaimers in place, I found that, for the most part, the social intimacy that we share with people, whether it be talking over text or phone or a table in a cafe, is all that really matters. There were some people I instantly hugged the moment I saw them. There were others with whom I shook hands. The former were people I had been talking to for quite some time, the latter were sudden acquaintences with whom I met up with quickly.

There are some bloggers I know who if I ever met in person I suspect would hug, and others that would not.

As for neighbours knowing less than the internets, that's the nature of blogging: you don't take 30 minutes out of your day, every day, to tell your neighbour something all about you. Neighbours result in conversations which inevitably include details about both people (no matter how little you care about that hairy mole they want to share... but I digress). Bottom line, we know more about you because we don't talk back, allowing you more time to expand on your thoughts or whatever you want to say... that's why we know you better.

Anonymous said...

crap... forgot to mention... Sleezstaks rock!

Anonymous said...

You just wrote an entire post and references The Land of the Lost all at the same time...You are amazing!...Oh the memories...

I'm cracking up.

WILLIAM said...

You have made some interesting observations about the blogosphere. Chakka would be happy.

BlondeMom said...

Land of the Lost...Hebrew National All Beef Salami...Mad Photoshop Skills...deep thoughts on blogging. Somehow you make it all make sense woman.

I find myself getting totally sucked into blogging, but I did get a margarita buddy out of it (Nicole at Sitting Still). Bonus!

So I say we aren't necessarily lost, but just looking for validation as parents, spouses, human beings. Or maybe we are just looking for a drinking buddy. Or a way to pass the work day. Uh...I didn't just say that.

Sayre said...

My husband loves my blogging. It gets me writing, thinking about things other than what's going on right here in my own life, and helps him keep in touch with his own family. His mother reads my blog religiously - which keeps her entertained and informed when we don't always have time to pick up the phone. It does the same for my own family, which is worldwide and quite numerous. If I weren't blogging, I'd be writing the same letter (essentially) over and over again AND spending money on postage!

Of course there is the occasional squawk from the bedroom... "Get off the damned computer and bring your nekkid hiney in here!"

Marcie said...

Good questions. Many I have asked myself.
And why did you leave out Chaka!

canape said...

Real people? Are there still real people out there? I've got to get out of these pj's and find them.

Kev and I have an arrangement. I can blog (read or write) while he practices guitar.

I win win. Blogging with musical entertainment.

And then the nekkid.

You can get so much more done when you don't have cable. That has nothing to do with your post. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

You are a truly gifted writer, funny too, which is difficult to do in written form. I saw your mendhi belly this morning, courtesy of The Madness of Mordern Familes. I think the pregnant belly is a cause of celebration and women need to reclaim their own power.

That being said, I enjoy blogging because I found a whole new community of people to share with and get support from, it's a good thing.

Sandra Miller said...

You know, we've had similar conversations over here.

Don't get me wrong-- Ryan encourages me to post (especially if I haven't in a while) and reads many of the blogs I link.

He also appreciates the fact that I've connected with some amazing virtual friends-- and have received tremendous support when I've needed it most.

That said, he'd much rather I get nekkid than spend time with my online community.

So nothing earth-shattering to impart.

But hey, I very much enjoyed the Land of the Lost flashback... :-)

mad muthas said...

right - send me your address IMMEDIATELY. are you small? you look small. have you read the book yet, or indeed any of our novels? i'm going to make you a little mad pack - just for you. my email is:

anna said...

I haven't been doing it long enough to have made any internet friendships but what is interesting to me about blogging is the extent to which the practice of it changes my experience of my own life.

The practice is transformative in that it alters any activity, say, picking up my boys clothes from the floor when there is a hamper RIGHT NEXT TO THEM into a process whereby, as I am staggering to the washing machine, I am wondering if I should write a post titled "Dream On" about the persistence of hope in the face of obviously disconfirming evidence.

If it weren't for blogging, I'd just be staggering toward the washing machine without a thought in my head.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Thank you for writing this, dear, because now I don't have to. The blog world is a strange and wonderful place and if I were to meet you in person I would have to be restrained so as not to hump your leg.

Shelli said...

It's been a long time (maybe 1979?) since I saw a sleestak. lol.
thanks for the reminder!

Love your blog!

Mad Hatter said...

Damn. Here I am trying to stay anonymous and you go and post my picture. How dare you. For the record, my scales really aren't that green in real life and the funky red German-crafted glasses frames down-play the eyes. Seriously.

Diana said...

"All the way up to the nostrils loving..." sounds yummy ;)

I can only blog at work, the computer has been banned at home. Because my hubby knows I would never cook or clean or just lay on the couch with him. He would lose me to all of you!

croutonboy said...

You had me at "Chaka"

Now I'll have the damn theme song running through my head all day.

"Marshall, Will & Holly...on a routine expedition..."

Christina_the_wench said...

I've wanted to do Will since forever. Does that make me a slut?

Can you, (dare I say it), make it a different color? Can you? Come on, ya puss. Let's see it. ;)

Thanks for the linky love. I heart you and your word balloons.

mamatulip said...

If you're lost, then I'm lost. Good thing we have salami.

Kevin Charnas said...

Okay, first of all, the Sleehstacks (sp?) used to scare the shit out of me.

And second of all, it's COMPLETELY UNCANNY that you should write about this today...Honestly. 3 hours ago I was at work, walking on campus and was thinking of you...And I began fantasizing about meeting you in person. And I wondered if it would feel awkward, because there was going to be NO WAY that I wasn't going to run, RUN up to you and give you a great big bear hug. And I'm completely serious.

So, consider yourself warned. If we ever meet in person, I'm RUNNING to you and HUGGING you like nobody's business.

Jhianna said...

I think a community is made up of whatever we want to make it. If you make a connection with someone via email, phone, or blog, it's still a connection. I've got several married friends who initially met on-line, and I think it's becoming more and more common.

I just look at reading blogs as a longer friend courtship (and oddly one-sided until you get that whole comment thing down - I'm working on that these days).

Sorry for the rambling - it's that day for me.

mama_miga said...

Funny you brought this up today. The husband and I were laughing last night at how I talk about all the bloggers as if I really know them. He's even started reading a few of the same blogs that I read, which is kinda fun. (We've lived here for 2.5 years and still don't know any of our neighbors - we're pathetic.)

Pattie said...

What a clever post! I had forgotten all about "Land of the Lost".....I LOVED that show!!! Thanks for the smiles today.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Mr. Mayhem and K must have been talking and plotting against us with our blog lovin' selves! :) I sometimes wonder the same thing. I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels so strongly about some of my blog friends.

I don't think this relationship is moving too just feels right!!!!! :)
(Doesn't that just bring you back to every cheesy pass that was thrown at you back in the day!) When was "the day" again? I forget!

Fly Girl said...

Hi there, I am desert songbird's niece, and I am new to blogging.

Commenting on your Land of Lost, my hubby just told me that this is all I do. I was like, "no I don't", but it's true.

KC said...

Land of the retro chic.

But the community is really amazing. I'm so with you.

Gina - Liam's Mom said...

Total ditto of what Mrs. Chicky said!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel about the big and tiny world of blog. You said it ALL just right... too right!

Mignon said...

What an amazing coincidence. I was feeling a little Chaka today. I was thinkin, "I need me some V05 formula and a slice of melon."

Now, where did I put that dog brush...

carrie said...

I am so giddy over the "Land of the Lost" pictures, I can't remember anything good to say!!!


Tori :) said...

LOL! So true!! Sometimes I look at the clock and think, "Holy crap! Did I just spend THAT LONG on the computer??!?!?!" Like I don't have anything else to do...
Love your blog. Found it thru Gina. :)

QT said...

There is no way I could have an exchange like I do with blogs IRL. I simply do not know enough like-minded people.

Salami is appropriate for every occasion, dontcha know?

Lotta said...

I would be so all up your in bizness if I met you! I think I will go to blogher this year...and I'll have this post on my mind when I do.

The Wooden Porch said...

You summed it up so well! I've been thinking those same thoughts lately. I wonder if we can jump into blogging relationships without all the baggage as face-to-face friendships. In a way we can also let our hair lose, and cross our fingers that our neighbors never find our blog...

Karana said...

I get lost in the blogosphere too... but my husband is equally lost, so I guess it's OK. I know what you mean about meeting people in real life... and I've done it before... sometimes it's incredibly awkward. Sometimes it's like you never didn't know each other. Did you know I met my husband on the internet... before it was the internet... back in the days of dial-up, telnet, and BBS'! (That would be 1992...)

I'm glad we've met though. I truly enjoy your blog, and appreciate your regular comments on mine.

Mama's Moon said...

Hmmm, you've brought up some good questions. I often wonder if I had the chance to meet the bloggers I read a lot a) would I really like them in person, and 2) would they like ME? For the most part I'm finding that I'm enjoying the straight-forwardness of my bloggy-relationships with these people I've 'met' if only because they aren't all up in my space, and I don't have be 'on' whenever they come into my home, or me into theirs. In fact, if I'm not in the mood I can just turn the computer off and visit again the next day.

But I must admit that I do sometimes miss the actual person-to-person contact that physically visiting with one another brings. It's just that I'm finding more and more lately that a lot of those I consider 'friends' around me have the tendency to let me down and, thus, get on my nerves more readily.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just as lost...

Terri said...


(The husband isn't too too happy about the time I spend on the computer.)

I spend more time on other blogs than I do w/ my friends.

Lots and lots of nice peeps!

Jenny said...

I shit you I was reading this Victor leaned over and said, "Honey, please stop retreating into the land of blogs. Please come back."

MeL said...

It's funny, I still treat the whole "blog-o-sphere as meeting place" thing the same way I would a very large party full of strangers.

I circle. I hesitate. I offer the odd comment or introduction. In the end, though, I still somehow manage to stay on the fringes - never really diving in and making myself quite at home in a group setting.

I tend to stick most to the small groups I know best... places where I feel comfortable enough to not worry what mood I'm in or whether I have anything to add to the conversation.