Tuesday, March 20, 2007

That Poor Child!

Grandma Seattle and I hit the YMCA yesterday.

Before she up and LEFT us.
How could she just LEAVE us like that?
So cold!
Seattle?
Pssshhhh.


Anyway, I swam while she lifted weights.

When I finished my laps, I surrendered my lane to a dinstinguished looking elderly gentleman with a kickboard.

I winded my [sorry ho'] self trying to be all 'Super Fly Swimmer Woman' so I sat at the end of the lane drinking water, recovering and watching the pool fill up with children.

The woman at the front desk had warned me that it was going to become a wild and splashy place and she was right -- suddenly, out of nowhere, there were 15 three year olds and no parents in sight.

One boy, who didn't look more than two and a half, was WAILING inconsolably.

[Something about not wanting to get wet.]

He was throwing a full-on, two-and-a-half-year-old temper tantrum right there in the pool.


I was entirely unfazed. To me it just looked like dinner time at The House of Joy.

The refined, older gentleman kicked slowly to the end of the lane and looked up at me with a face full of genuine concern.

"That poor child," he said. "He must be in TERRIBLE pain!"

My jaw fell open. I was too startled to say anything.

He turned himself gently around and started kicking in the other direction.

That is when (behind his regal back) I fell over laughing.

That poor child, indeed.

Oh, the foibles of the childless.


46 comments:

slouching mom said...

Oh, but I'll bet he did have children -- it's just that he's of that generation... He probably saw his children just before dinner every day when they were trotted out, beaming faces in pajamas, to say good night, while he sipped his scotch.

Paige said...

I think he had just forgotten what it was like to have kids.

Robin said...

I get to watch 13 year-olds have tantrums. 2.5 year-olds don't even phase me, and I don't have any of my own.

Sayre said...

Ha Ha Ha!!!! You do grow an extra shield against crying children - at least the temper tantrum kind. I think the difference is that WE can tell the difference between real pain and having a fit. Visit my blog and read the Channel Z post about his visit to the dentist. You'll laugh. Really.

Nancy said...

It's those tantrums that make me understand why some species eat their young. =) I mentally ate mine dozens of time!

Patience said...

If there's no blood or no protuding bone, then there's no pain to be worried with.

I love little kids, even when they throw the regular ear-piercing brain-melting screaming fit.

Undercover Angel said...

That poor man - he'd be at a loss if he had children these days...He'd be one of those parents who gives in to their childs every whim and winds up with a spoiled little brat on their hands...

Lindsey said...

You are hilarious--just like dinner at The House of Joy--I know all about that.

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

that is funny!

Mimi said...

Oh geez, that's funny. Tantrum crying doesn't faze me one bit, either. And doesn't old dude know that it's a totally different sound than the pain cry? 'cause that one makes me weep.

Gosh, at least he wasn't concerned enough to break his stride, right? ;-)

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Stupid stupid man.

Velma said...

I was waiting while my daughter had her swim lesson yesterday at our local YMCA, and realized that in a sick sort of way, I find the sound of other people's children yelling and echoing in the cavernous pool area soothing. They aren't *my* kids, right?

karrie said...

LOL!

Well, at least he did not complain about the kid.

Having a 2.5 year old of my own, I would have felt equal measure of relief that it was not my kid, and a good dose of sympathy for the parent on duty.

jen said...

a kind and sensitive man at that...i don't suppose grandma seattle is single?

QT said...

Funny - he obviously hasn't been around many crying kids. I love that he was using a kickboard!

TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

I wonder what he would say about my children during their teenage temper tantrums..."Kids today...bah!" or "Get that girl some ice cream! Can't you see she's upset?"

It's the good cop-bad cop thing.

Above Average Joe said...

What was the kickboard for? The air in his head would've kept him afloat.

NotSoSage said...

I totally thought Grandma Seattle was going to hook up. I guess this isn't that kind of blog.

I have an aunt who had 8 children. Her rule: It's when they're quiet that you know something's REALLY wrong.

Mel said...

NotSoSage: YES! I live by that rule. Because when they go quiet, they're either doing something against the rules, or planning to rise up and overthrow your regime. :)

Super B's Mom said...

HA! I can just imagine that situation if only you replaced that man with my dear old granddaddy.

"Are you bleeding? Well hush 'yer crying or I'll give you something to cry about..."

Jill said...

I am with NotSoSage, it is when they are making NO noise that you should be concerned. Poor guy, my father in law is the same way, though. And he had two children (although if you ask my husband, he slept through it all!)

Augs Casa said...

WOO HOO CANNONABLL out of the way!! SPLASH!!!!!!

I too know all too well the yells at dinner time. It's a lovely sounds it sounds like.....DEFEAT (lowers head)

Kristin said...

If my children were in terrible pain each and every time they pitched a fit, we would be living at the hospital!

Mad Hatter said...

Let me see, "that child is in real pain. Excuse me, while I finish my laps. You there, lady. You deal with it." Lovely.

Kyla said...

I agree with Sage...anytime the kids are quiet, I hunt them down. Quiet means they are up to no good. Wailing is much more of a comfort. *lol*

Kim said...

I probably would've had to muffle my laughter if he'd said that to me!

...sounds like that guy's from the 'kids should be seen and not heard' era. If kids were heard, there had to be a really good reason for it!

Blog Antagonist said...

ROFL. I was in Target today and some kid was having on whale of a tantrum. There was an elderly couple goggling at the kid like they could not believe what they were seeing and hearing.

It was different way back when. If your kid was having a tantrum, you smacked the tar out of them. Since the child was not being smacked, the man assumed he had a legitimate reason for crying.

Ahhhhh, the good old days.

Jennifer said...

Ahh, the things that don't phase us once we have kids! I don't even notice other children (including my own) making noise when we're in public.

And the old guy...probably never did any actual parenting. The good 'ol days.

Diana said...

:O
Two year olds throw tantrums? LOL!
Yeah, gramps comes from that generation where the father was not top involved, my (step) grandaddy was like that. He hated when i even came near him...he was afraid of me...

g-man said...

I'd have had to laughed too.

Tabba said...

My mom looks at me with a quizzical look when the kids are yelling and going bat-shit crazy & I'm just doing my thing.
And then I look at her and tell her: "It's like this all the time. Just ignore them."
That shield - that bubble...we forget others don't have it, eh?

mamatulip said...

That man would have ambulances at my house in a second if he thought that tantrums equal terrible pain. *snort*

Mrs. Flinger said...

Oh, seriously? Then my child is in pain A LOT. But not as much as mommy is. The Tanrums! Oh! The Tantrums!

I tend to ignore almost all children when possible. Even my own. ;-) heh.

Lawyer Mama said...

Baaaahaaaa! Pain!

I always think it's hilarious when a childless friend (or my brother) visits while my kidlets are in full form. They look so concerned. As if they had no idea I'd been raising a pack of wild animals.

Mrs. Chicken said...

I think this man was next to me at the mall foodcourt today.

They travel fast and light, these childless ones.

liv said...

uh, I was actually thinking of revising your statement to "oh, the joys of the childless."

all I can say is that I've been hassled with some mumbo jumbo about something called leapster that exists at DADDY's house for the past 3 hours.

and instead of a flow class, I think I'd just like some bourbon.

Jenifer G. said...

Pain, hah! I guess your tantrum force field was working, I know mine does all the time.

I am always amused when people try to point something out who clearly have not spent 5 minutes with ankle-biters. Can make for some interesting conversation.

Funny stuff.

notfearingchange said...

seattle grandmom leaving...what will you do?

King Isepik said...

With the departure of Seattle gramdma, why not invite the kindly gentleman over to watch the kids for an hour or so. Of course, you'd have to have an ambulance on hand for when he had his coronary. :)

If there's no blood, there's no foul, right? :) LOL!

Aliki2006 said...

I remember long before I had my first child watching a child a) pick his nose in public and b) throw a tantrum (these were two different kids on two different occasions). I distinctly remember being incredibly horrified at both and assuming, of course, that no future child of mine would ever perpetrate a) or b).

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Gingers Mom said...

In pain! Bwahahahah! I am sure his mother was hiding somewhere in excuriating pain... I have no sympathy for the tantruming 2 year old. I have one of my own. He gets no mercy either. LOL

urban-urchin said...

Awww, bless him, that's so sweet.

flutter said...

Well, yes, I mean I know when I see a two year old shrieking over getting wet, I automatically assume that said child is being tortured.

dionna said...

I should write down some of the foibles of my childless s/o - it will be RICH someday when we finally have kids. He might go into hiding.

creative-type dad said...

A kid by the pool not wanting to get wet?

That's funny!

Vancouver mermaid/Montreal photographer said...

Funny how us moms can relate to this story, eh? I was buying my 5 year old daughter shoes last weekend, at the mall, and she hated every pair she tried on. (She wanted to keep her winter boots) We ended up picking a pair and we walked out with her wearing them. Screaming, wailing, crying...the whole nine yards. Her older brother and I were having a conversation about something else while trying to ignore the tantrum. An old lady came up to me and said "excuse me, your other child is crying." I was amazed. I was about to say: "Really? I hadn't noticed." Instead I just pretended not to hear her, and continued to talk to my son.