Sunday, April 01, 2007

Obliging Janet

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" from Dancing Through sent me the following interview questions after I left her a comment that basically said something like:

"There's NO WAY I'd request to be interviewed by another blogger. I'd be too scared of what they would ask."

So I'm feeling really heard. Ahem.

Dammit Janet.

The Interview Questions
by Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom"

1. What is the most joyful experience you have ever had? (Doesn't have to be from motherhood.)

Taking an ultralite flight out of Zambia over Victoria Falls.

Victoria Falls Zimbabwe

2. If someone gave you a park rangers outfit, what would you do in return for that generous person?

If some one gave me a National Park Ranger Uniform in my husband's size (complete with the hat - and I prefer the summer hat, mind you) then I would give them... extra large bottle of pjur -- that they might fulfill their own fantasy unfettered by a sticky hand.

3. Are you a procrastinator? If so, what do you do to procrastinate?

I am not a procrastinator. I am a planner. Recall The Family Plan.

4. Park Ranger or Zoo Keeper?


Oh great and powerful internets, let us help Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" see the difference in the following:

Zoo Keeper: Smells of elephant and gorilla sweat.

Park Ranger: Smells like a cold, starry night under giant pines with a campfire blazing and marshmallows roasting.

Who do we want in our bed?

The National Park Ranger.


Yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!

5. Complete this sentence: I deserve ___________.

A swift kick in the...?

A knuckle sandwich?

A break today?

Everything I get?


Ah ha!

I deserve the opportunity to grill some other chump from the internet.

Who's game?


Paige said...

go ahead. interview me if you must.

Blog Antagonist said...

I'm very envious of all your travels. That picture was gorgeous!! I still think a Scottish Highlander is way hotter than a Park Ranger, but at least yours still exists. SIGH.

Anonymous said...

THAT was fabulous.

PLUS you referenced me to THE one and only, greatest 'Janet' of all time.

I heart you.

NotSoSage said...

Can I modify the request somewhat?

Could you interview Alpha DogMa?

I believe that the combination of your questions and her answers could possibly produce such ROFLMAO goodness, the blogosphere might actually implode.

mamatulip said...

There's a fire in my heart and you fan it! Dammit, Janet...good questions!

Tabba said...

Wonderful answers! You rock.

I'm jumping up and down....

Me, Me, Me!

(and only because you're asking)

slouching mom said...

Thank you, NO. I already answered my questions.

As usual, you funny!

Karly said...

OK, I was already interviewed by someone else, but I can't remember who and my laptop took a shit so the questions are MIA. Damn it. You now get the honor of interviewing me, great mystery that I am.

Beck said...

National Park Rangers, eh?

Woman with kids said...

Would "ummmm, uhhhh, ummm?" count as answers? 'Cause then, I'm totally in.

Kendra said...

I am always game for something fun, plus I like to hear myself talk in my own head (you know when I type away). Yeah, I'm special like that! ;)

Jennifer said...

I so love your answer to the park ranger/zoo keeper question!!!

Theresa said...

I'm afraid, very afraid, but go ahead if you'd like.

liv said...

I love the blasted memes and yet, can't get next to the notion of the park ranger. If he's uniformed, I'll go for the fireman every time.

The Medium Swede said...

I am happy to be questioned.

Groovy Lady said...

Good answers! Janet is a tough questioner I think.

It cracks me up how bad you want a Park Ranger uniform, with a summer hat of course. Every time I hear Park Ranger mentioned I think of you. :D

flutter said...

oooooh my lord. I am a ballsless fool. I would be petrified at your questions.

urban-urchin said...

Alright, I'm game.

Anonymous said...

Was that too subtle?

Shannon said...

OMG. More travel photos please.

CamiKaos said...

I find myself wondering how you feel about Ranger Smith from The Yogi Bear Show

Kelly said...

My BIL is a Park Ranger, and I just want to say one thing. Not all park rangers are hot. Some are short little men with short man complexes who shouldn't socialize with the outside world and therefore hide in the woods as...a park ranger. I'm just sayin...

The Medium Swede said...

At your request, here are your questions and my answers:

How did you meet your significant other and when did you know he/she was THE ONE?

I met Jackie the night of a very bad blind date. She was not the date. The date was horrible and I made up a very obvious excuse (dog was sick) to leave early. I then went to a bar to meet a bunch of friends. My wife was a friend of a friend. Her first words to me were, "nice watch", which was intended to let me know how horrible the watch was. It was a horrible watch, but I got it while I was working the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas.

I knew she was the one because she was so sweet and interested in me as a person. She is and was beautiful, but she seemed to indicate that family was the number one priority. I loved her about 3 weeks into our relationship.

How would you characterize the person you were in high school? In college?

I was kind of a fringe popular guy in high school. I was into theater and music but my friends were all jocks. In college, I was the bad boy. I went to a small liberal arts Christian college in Chicago. As I did not grow up on a farm in Minnesota and had actually dated girls prior to college, I was looked at as "experienced." Very funny when you think about it because I was really a very inexperienced guy. However, meeting all those blonde farm girls from Minnesota was like a Smorgasbord to this Swede!

Tell us about a time in your life when you felt ashamed.

When I have acted inappropriately (yelling to much or being unreasonable) with my wife and kids.

If you could ask a genie to grant you three wishes, what would your wishes be? (Wishing for more wishes is not allowed.)

1.) I would wish that both of my sons would grow to be happy, well adjusted, healthy adults.
2.) For me to calm down and be more attentive to things in the moment and not always worry about the future or what I should have done in the past.
3.) A 10 inch... oh wait that is my letter to Penthouse forum
real 3.) That I would be the kind of Dad and husband that I need and want to be

Do you contest that the National Park Ranger Uniform is the sexiest uniform there is and, if so, what uniform would, in your opinion, trump that of the Park Ranger?

If my wife wore the Park Ranger uniform, it would convince me of what I have felt all along. All women should be lesbians because guys smell and are not as nice as women.

I would say the sexiest uniform for a woman is...... you know what? If a woman shows even the slightest interest in me sexually I like whatever the hell she is wearing.

You asked, I answered.

Kim said...

I'm game but it'll be a huge feat to be anywhere as funny about it as you ;)

Tessa said...

I'm new to the blogverse but I'd love some questions. (I know several have volunteered already but I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring. Heh)

Damselfly said...

Aha! Now I get the park ranger comment you left on my blog! ;) Love the falls photo.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

See, I was *in* the park when this was posted so I missed it.

Kim said...

I was your chump...

you had questions...I had answers ;)