Recently I made a grave error while naked, on all fours, with the lights on.
Because my proper southern Granny reads this blog, I feel it is important to INSIST that I was NOT performing "Coitus Ontopus" at the time. Definitely not. Noooooo, ma'am.
Granny - I assure you that I have only DONE THE DEED twice in my life, both times for pro-creative purposes and both times I was on my back, holding very still and clutching my turtle neck night gown to my throat waiting for IT to be over.
Anyway, I was naked, on the bed, in a semi-on-all-fours position, with the lights on and...
I looked down.
...or underneath as it were.
I should not have done that.
(((Oh. Mah. Got.)))
Here is what I saw:
You know how a mama cat's belly hangs low to the ground and swings from side to side after she has given birth and nursed kittens?
I'm just saying it is a good thing I don't walk on all fours or I would be mistaken for a mother cat.
My great and powerful body stretched itself to the limit and beyond to grow and deliver The Mayor and The Rooster - and for that I am grateful.
However, the belly has suffered a great blow from which it seems it will never recover.
I'm far too cheap to have a tummy tuck though.
I mean, I don't have a spare 50 bazillion dollars, and even if I did, old age is going to drag everything south anyway.
I wouldn't spend money on a TEMPORARY solution to a problem.
[That would be illogical, Captain.]
I think it would be a better idea for me to invest in some extra sets of nipples and become a wet nurse for kittens.