Thursday, June 14, 2007

Love Song of the Serengeti

K was grilling kebabs for dinner so I was ...

Okay, okay.

I admit it.

I was lying on the floor (again) while The Mayor and The Rooster played with toys.

The Mayor had a zebra puppet on one hand and a giraffe puppet on the other... and those two animals were making out like nobody's business!!

The giraffe (as channeled through The Mayor) said,


"Kissy, kissy, kissy. I love you, Zebra."

Then, while erotically rubbing the hair of his mane up and down the giraffe's neck, the frisky zebra said,

"I'm just gonna rub you with my hair...rub-ba, rub-ba, rub-ba."

The Mayor didn't notice me watching him play this wild animal love game.

"Do the giraffe and the zebra love each other?" I asked the Mayor.

The Mayor, suddenly furious, swung towards me and hissed,

"DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THAT!!!!!"

Oh, the shameful forbidden love between various species of African plains dwelling animals!

The tragedy of Zebras and Giraffes hiding their love in dark, secret places!

Not to worry, Mayor.

Though you have no way of knowing it yet, your mommy is 100% okay with free love between giraffes and zebras.

May each and every one of the animals get all the love they need where ever they can find it.

Animal Love

77 comments:

Hol&J said...

"DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THAT!!!!!"
Wahahaha!

That reminds me of a time my cousin and I were playing with B A R B I E dolls. (I'm going to write a post about that now.)

Lisa Milton said...

Glad all the beasties have your unconditional support.

Caro said...

hilarious!

NotAMeanGirl said...

ROFL... I wanna know WHY he din want you asking about it? Seriously... He was playacting the love so why was asking about it met with that response. I know... Shut up Tessa... sigh

WILLIAM said...

"You and me baby are nothing but mammels let's do it like they do in on the discovery channel."

I think it was the bllod hound gang who said that.

NotSoSage said...

The Mayor's so lucky to have a forward-thinking Mama like you.

Jen said...

Cute! And funny. "I'm just gonna rub you with my hair...rub-ba, rub-ba, rub-ba." is the same line my husband used to attract me.

slouching mom said...

And just think -- if they get it on, and circumstances are favorable (not too acidic), soon we'll all welcome to our world the cutest spotted striped creature you ever did see!

Megan (Velveteen Mind) said...

Aah, yes. Like hol&j, I have sordid Barbie tales, too. Really sordid.

I can feel the blush on behalf of the Mayor. I mean, Mom, come on!

Catizhere said...

Oh, the Accolades!
When the Mayor sucessfully breeds the first.......
Zebraffe.
I only hope that the zebra was using his best Barry White voice whist giving the rub-ba rub-bas.

Whoever said that you can't mix stripes and spots. Or was that plaids and stripes???

Annie said...

Too funny!

Mamma said...

Just wait until he's 10 and you ask him if there are any boys in his class that he likes.

Wha? I was just trying to let him know I wouldn't care either way.

Anonymous said...

Maybe your kids are watching too much T.V.

reevesfarm said...

OMG!

angela said...

i like the anonymous comment that "maybe your kids are watching too much TV?" like you're not supposed to express love or anything?

we rub-ba rub-ba in front of our kid. i think it's good for kids to see a little huggin' and kissin'. (note to say- i don't make out hot and heavy in front of her... just pat pat and peck peck)

Karen Forest said...

How cute! I love kids! The stuff they come up with.

I remember as a child playing by myself and talking out loud and when one of my parents would try to interact with me and interrupt my own private play and would be so embarrassed. So cute!

Mad Hatter said...

You're so liberal in your values. I admire that.

Jodi said...

If I don't stop trying to figure out the logistics of consummating a giraffe-zebra love affair, my head may explode. Have you seen the size of a giraffe's tongue? Bonus points right there.

At my state's zoo the giraffes, zebras and ostriches are in the same enclosure. Perhaps anything is possible after the gates are locked and the sun goes down. Bless the beasts and the children and all that.

CamiKaos said...

Oh the love love love. I often wonder where K gets the love scenes she creates between fluffy stuffed things. I too asked once. I got big huge incredulous brown eyes and then watched her red faced stomp out of the room...

Though in the last 2 weeks she hasn't even been able to stand the site of hand holding on a tv show...

Jen said...

My girls often marry their dolls or even the dolls have babies. They solemnly lay them down and yank smaller babies out of their tops. If I say anything it is met with pretty much the same reaction, I am not supposed to get involved.

Since many of our friends (couples with kids) represent many cultures our kids are pretty oblivious to all that, at least for now. They are so used to seeing a mom and dad that are different races...now for the animals at the farm yesterday my daughter wanted to know why cats and dogs don't make babies...hmmn.

Little Monkies said...

I think this is a really cool post in light of the fact that the 40th anniversary of the Loving decision (the case that overturned laws against interracial marriage) was celebrated on June 12th.

Amen, mama!

LM

Biddy said...

I swear they are going to send me home from work in a straight jacket for all the hyena-like laughter coming from my office!

hehehehehe
kind of reminds me of the time my cousin and i taped a naked barbie and ken (yeah, i definitely had the black ken doll) together...

you know, when i was in africa, i did notice a certain giraffe and zebra making googly eyes at each other...hmmm

Mandy said...

I love the message and totally agree. I also think it says that your son is able to see the love (affection) between you and your husband and that's such a healthy, great thing! I'm often on the floor with my kids too, it's a great perspective!

Lawyer Mama said...

Wooooaaaahhh! That Mayor is too funny!

liv said...

you are the photoshop master! d and I act out a lot with animals...a good way to find out what's going on with a four year old.

Kim said...

sometimes it's pretty funny what you see your kids doing (or hear them saying) when they think you're not watching ;)

"DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THAT!"...LOL

BOSSY said...

That giraffe needs the waist-high water bowl Bossy uses for her Great Dane.

QT said...

Too funny - little does mr. anonymous know that there are STRICT RULES about TV watching in your household!

FEEL THE LOVE MAMA! Rubba rubba!

Absolutely Bananas said...

RFOL you are so funny. Thanks for the laughs this morning!!

Cece said...

I love it when my kids don't realize I'm watching/listening. hehehehe

karrie said...

LOL!

I found Lego Spidey and Lego Incredible Hulk in an intimate embrace the other day. Shocking!

Queen Heather said...

bwahahahaha!

Kyla said...

So funny!! My BubTar would have said "Moooooooooom, you're embarrassing me!"

bubandpie said...

So funny. That sounds like something Bub would say.

Paige said...

Maybe this is how he got mono, all this lovin?

How is feeling, btw?

Heather said...

That is SO funny. Another laugh out loud post!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

All my lovin'....Whoo hooo...Go Giraffey Go!

JoeinVegas said...

Funky zebra love, right in your own living room, and not courtesy of Animal Planet or Sesame Street.

PunditMom said...

I knew you were a free love kind of gal!

Lily said...

How funny - I love his response. "Don't ask me about THAT!" hehehe

cracks me up!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

I, too, love the "don't ask me about that" response. That kid rocks.

Casmee said...

OMG! Too cute! Such a liberal free thinking mama you are!

flutter said...

Oy. Your children be heeeeelllaaaaaarious.

Lotta said...

That's awesome. Clearly he sees mommy and daddy being loving (not in a sick way) together. He'll be a good boyfriend someday!

Biddy said...

head over to biddys world for a special mayor inspired post!!

Shauna said...

ha ha ha!

Jenny said...

Sure, you're okay with them falling in love but are you willing to support their right to adopt?

imhelendt said...

LOL! Perhaps you might want to limit animal planet tv time? ;D

radical mama said...

Please stop starting your posts with "K was cooking...'

It's very hard for me to read when I am feeling so envious...

What was that? Something about interspecies erotica? Carry on.

EE said...

Ahhhh...forbidden love!!!

FENICLE said...

Nothing like a little JUNGLE LOVE!!!

Queen Karana said...

Um, wow. If you did that Photoshop creation yourself... wow. Impressive. And The Mayor is just too cute.

jen said...

dude, you know he's totally already thought it all through. That Mayor is smart like that.

King Isepik said...

I see no issue with inter-species chicken making. :) I would say that cuz the Queen (vanilla) and I (chocolate) have a couple of sweet caramel princesses of our own.

Why don't we all diversify a bit, eh? :) LOL!

carrie said...

Hot, wild giraffe/zebra sex. Wow.

Carrie

Beck said...

Or "STOP SPYING ON ME!", as my kids would say.

jchevais said...

I wonder what zebraffe babies look like?

Or would that be Girbras?

mamatulip said...

My favourite kind of love -- animal love.

Mona said...

Oh the agony of inter-species love.

Ortizzle said...

The Mayor is going to be one hot lover some day. The question is, will he prefer giraffes or zebras?

metalia said...

"DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THAT!" Ha, I love it. He's going to have a lot of explaining to do when he runs for public office one day! ;)

Jenny Ryan said...

That's hilarious!! :D

Above Average Joe said...

You know how all forbidden love stories end right?

You'll probably find puppet insides scattered all around the house.

Iris said...

Now if only all of humanity were so tolerant and forgiving. I am about to embark in a bi-racial marriage....and even in this civilized world, we still get the looks and the stares of strangers..... of course, it could be that I am 8yrs older than he... or that I am just so friggen incredibly sexy and good looking........ not sure ........*G*

wordgirl said...

Wow...that seems to be a sensitive topic for The Mayor. Forbidden love creates a variety of emotions in all of us and puppet animal love is no exception.

Momish said...

It is so funny how touchy they get over their play. The Mayor is a hoot! But you, girl, you should consider a job in graphic design. You wow me at every turn!

Momish said...

It is so funny how touchy they get over their play. The Mayor is a hoot! But you, girl, you should consider a job in graphic design. You wow me at every turn!

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Kids are soooo funny!

urban-urchin said...

I just choked on my coffee during a telephone meeting. Nice!

Nancy said...

LOL at the Mayor's reaction!!

I'm so glad to know you have a welcoming environment for all the colors in your house, whether they be spotted or striped.

moosh in indy. said...

Noah and a snail hooked up in my house tonight.

PinkPowerSuit.com said...

Rub-ba, rub-ba... I think I'll use that line on my husband tonight!

Kids are so cute. You just can't make this stuff up!

Jen Magnuson said...

I am so tired I can barely do anything, which is why I am reclining in front of the computer, and yet this post made me laugh. I love "Don't ask me about that!!!!" That is freaking hilarious!

Kevin Charnas said...

It's so beautiful and humbling when love can conquer obstacles. Such as having the hots for someone who has legs taller than you are.

Jenn said...

Free love, baby.

you are the queen of the arc.

notfearingchange said...

Well your children's animal puppets have summarized my relationships.. ;-)

Bon said...

in our house, i make the animals from O's farm do unspeakable things to each other, with running commentary about their love. sometimes they even love the firemen from O's fire truck. sometimes the firemen love each other.

perhaps the Mayor would like to come over for an afternoon? he need not hide his animals' love for each other here...and he'd feel right at home, i think, as i do all my parenting horizontal if i can help it.