Six years ago at our friends wedding, the Priest suggested that the couple work hard at the marriage so that each partner would see God's love in the other's eyes.
In the interest of honesty, I should report that what I heard at the time was,
"Work hard at the marriage and try to see blah blah blah SOMETHING RELIGIOUS blah blah blah." [Because I am open minded like that.]
Because K is the better, more enlightened half of The House of Joy partnership, he was more interested in the concept of "seeing God's love" in the eyes of his spouse.
Where's God's love in YOUR eyes, Jessica? He just keeps bringing this up, people.. over and over again with the God's love in your eyes thing.
[Kidding, I'm kidding.]
To open my mind to "God" I always contextualize the word for myself.
When I talk seriously about God I mean God in the way that Dante Alighieri used the word in Paradiso.
In the last Canto, "God appears as three equally large circles within each other representing the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit with the essence of each part of God separate yet also one.
Dante's soul, through God's absolute love, experiences a unification with itself and all things..."
"...but already my desire and my will were being turned like a wheel, all at one speed by the love that turns the sun and all the other stars."
I've always liked Dante's idea of God because, to me, it transcends any one religion expanding and shifting to make room for them all.
The idea of God and the concept of love exist as the physical energy that moves the universe...
Who is not down with that spiritual grooviness?
Using the Dante context, seeing "God's Love" reflected in my partners eyes would mean witnessing the very force that "turns the sun and all the other stars."
Dude. Sign me up.
Thinking about it this way, I can understand K's fascination with the concept.
He brought it up again last night while we were talking about The Mayor.
The Mayor's behavior has been appalling lately. He is constantly testing the boundaries of his own control and engaging us in ugly power struggles.
Last week he kicked, punched, slapped, spit and shouted at us.
In brief, he sucks.
[The Mayor can hit HARD.]
Neither K nor I have been able to keep our cool throughout it all.
A while ago I posted about The Mayor's boundary testing and a lot of folks recommended a book called "Parenting with Love and Logic" so I went running to the bookstore immediately.
Alas! The Mayor thumbs his nose at the love and logic method and further terrorizes us.
Our parental fuses are short.
As we fell asleep talking about this, K asked me what it would be like to attempt to parent with God's love in our eyes.
"I want my spirit of generosity to be expansive -- limitless even -- with The Mayor and Rooster," K said.
I lay there in the dark wondering what K and my children see when they look in my eyes.
[I'm pretty sure they see the person angling for the bigger piece of berry cobbler.]
K asked me why I was so quiet.
"I'm just thinking about what you said," I told him.
I was thinking that one of the things I love most about K is that he inspires me to be the best version of myself possible.
K already has an incredibly kind and generous spirit and I want to be a better person every day simply as a product of being around him.
Inspiring someone to be their best possible self seems a lot like God's love to me.
I believe that K has achieved what Jim and Michele's priest suggested in our marriage and I'll put money on him achieving it with our children as well.
I'm going to have to work on it.
I'm pretty sure that when my children look in my eyes they see the question,
"How soon are you going to bed?"
Wednesday, August 15, 2007