Thursday, August 09, 2007

My Love Smells Like Night Blooming Jasmine

K asked me to please spend less time on the computer.

He's been complaining for awhile now that every night after our children go to bed I disappear into the internet world.


He told me that he'd been feeling disconnected from me and wanted me to hang out with him more "after hours."


He told me all this while I was sitting at the computer.

I looked at him, looked at my computer, looked at him, back at the computer...

I turned it off.

Later, I put my arms around his neck and said,


"I'm sorry you've been feeling disconnected from me. I'll try to spend less time on the computer at night. You're the most important person in the world to me..."

Just then, a certain smell wafted up to my attention, so I added,

"In fact, I love you so much that I made you a little fart."




74 comments:

Caro said...

LOL

Circus Kelli said...

Bwahahahaha...

*toot*
There's a kiss for you, honey.

kgirl said...

If farts = love, than I am the most loved woman on the planet.

~JJ! said...

Tee hee...

Ortizzle said...

Wow. You just set yourself up for life. From now on, every time you fart your husband's presence, all you have to say is, "Just showing my love for you, darlin'!"

This won't help you in church, though.

mamatulip said...

Hey, like I've said on my blog, flatulence = love.

(The last three letters of my word verification are OTJ.)

Heather said...

I adore you. Funny, but I think I might love the same way!

Natsthename said...

God, you make me laugh so much!

slouching mom said...

mama t.: then cows must be engaging in some serious lovin'...

Deb said...

WATCH OUT, incoming dutch oven!

Assertagirl said...

I make an effort not to spend too much time online when G's home, too.

Wendy said...

Now, that was the best.

Rusti said...

I only wish we had internet at home so I could be on the computer the four nights per week that my hubby is at work... instead I'm reduced to reading books (which is no hardship at all!) or watching TV (sometimes okay) because everyone knows - I hate cleaning, so I wouldn't be doing THAT in my "free" time :)

Thanks for the laugh :)

mommiebear2 said...

LOL - Yikes! ;)

S said...

LOL! True love right there!

Nancy said...

Snort. That would totally happen in our house.

Sayre said...

My husband and son have threatened to turn off my computer or hide key components so I'll spend more time with them. So I try to limit my blog-cruising to when they don't care or when they're asleep.

Mary Alice said...

Good for you turning off the computer....It's hard to bow chicka bow bow when you are are surfing the net...well, hard to get QUALITY bow chicka anyway

Michael said...

That's Klassy : -) LOL!

Nikki said...

I've had that same conversation....minus the fart.

mothergoosemouse said...

If you have a laptop, there's no reason why you can't spend time with K and the Internets too.

Patience said...

and that indeed is true love!

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

My hubby has had the same complaint for quite some time now... I try to turn it on after he goes to bed... because he goes to sleep LONG before I ever do!

EmmaK said...

I know how you feel. My husband was gettting pissed off with my love affair with the internet. So I turn it off in the evenings, or, to be totally honest, he disconnects it in some fashion that I do not understand. It is so funny that all of us are having affairs, not with men, but with virtual chums in the blogosphere!

Selfmademom said...

Oh I hear ya on the computer usage comments- my hubby and I actually set up groundrules for blogging. It drives him nuts!! If I added a nasty smell to the equation, I think he'd take my laptop away.

tulipmom said...

You're too much!

My husband has the same complaint. I'll try to be more like you (minus the wind, of course).

chilihead said...

I'm with Circus Kelli. We blow each other kisses all the time.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

AAAHHH....love is in the air!

JoeinVegas said...

That was so nice of you.

Jacques said...

Funny fart joke aside,

awesome decision you made to pick your love over your PC. In the past when faced with that same decision I made the wrong choice several times. Well, i suppose it wasn't Love vs PC though to be honest. But I must commend you for it.

QT said...

HA - I have had similar requests in the past. Except for the farts, I have complied...for awhile.

Jenn said...

The bed is much more comfy than the keyboard on your forehead, isn't it?

Iris said...

Hmmm, and all this time I thought it was my IBS, now I know it is just my love overflowing........

NotAMeanGirl said...

LOL Only you! For THAT you are being tagged for a MeMe. (Yeah I know you've PROBABLY already done this one but I'm taggin ya anyway! Love ya!)

http://meangirlsneednotapply.blogspot.com/2007/08/tales-of-weird-and-unknown.html

NoMommy said...

LOL, you are soooo romantic!

flutter said...

Blow him a kiss, Jess.

Pgoodness said...

LOL! So loving you are!p

Julie said...

Oh my...that's hilarious. It IS hard to not spend so much time out here, isn't it? I guess we must keep our hubbies happy. :)

liv said...

yes, get the off the internetz... maybe at least do a little less time. you don't get the "I'm home alone with the kids AGAIN and have nobody in my life 'cept the computer" excuse.

fart? D just did as I typed this.

Jonathon Morgan said...

This is why committed relationships are fun. I never thought I'd hear a woman fart until I moved in with my girlfriend.

Mimi said...

This happens more than I can tell you over at my house. Then the farter yells, "RUNNNNN!" and the deal is that we take off, no questions asked.

It's kinda fun.

Lawyer Mama said...

Now that's love.

My hubby has asked me to do the same. Of course he's out of town right now and I'm procrastinating at work during the day, so all bets are off.

Omaha Mama said...

Now that made me giggle.

I'm impressed that he used that much language. And words with more than one syllable? My hubs just gets angry and sort of grunts at me when I've been on the computer too much. I like this way better.

Melina said...

That is too funny.

Whenever I'm having a rough day at work I know I can come here and get a good laugh in. Thanks for never disappointing.

TastesLikeCrazy said...

You know, it's posts like those that make me believe in true love.

Momish said...

You are an inspiration to us all. I know my husband has the same complaint. It never occurred to me to just turn the computer off, though.

Nor to fart for him, I admit.

Slackermommy said...

I'm so jealous. I wish I could fart in front of my hubby. He's got this weird fart thing that I'm trying to respect.

I must say your hubby has great communication skills. My hubby takes the passive aggressive route.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Awesome! Farting really is romantic, isn't it!

Kelly said...

Now that's a line that I can use...thanks for the tip!

Jennifer said...

True love.

And hopping on the computer after the kids are in bed is one reason I don't mind at all when my husband works late. ;)

Kyla said...

I love that the first tag on this one is "Butt and poo". I love that you have so many posts on the subject that it needs its own tag. :)

Aliki2006 said...

I agree--that is true love. And what says it better than *that*!

Heather said...

Now that's my idea of romance.

Shannon said...

Adorable. Now, that's love.

Domestic Chicky said...

Wow...That's some kind of devotion there...took my breath away!!!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

now that's love.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Bryan and I have similar conversations!!!

Minus the toot smell.

urban-urchin said...

I fart when I'm scared, or attacked. Without fail.

Hol&J said...

I agree with kgirl. "If farts = love, than I am the most loved woman on the planet."

Good lord it never stops in this house!

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I feel the love! I just don't want to smell it. ;)

But seriously, this is why I moved my laptop to another ROOM. I love blogging...it just takes up a lot of time.

Clinton said...

I have nothing witty to say, except that I really enjoy your blog.

And, do you have to eat the jasmine, kind of like asparagus?

Clinton
shelookslikeme.wordpress.com

Bon said...

sometimes i'm happy that you love me from a long distance away. ;)

FENICLE said...

Good one!!!

My husband tells me the same thing. He's usually just mad that he can't be on it when I am!

Trenting said...

My house contains 4 computers one for each of us, my son could care less, the rest of us.. completely obsessed..

moosh in indy. said...

K must fart from excitement too. JUST LIKE ME.

Jordan said...

Nice one. Did he send you back to the computer, right then and there? Hilarious!

Grim Reality Girl said...

..... wow, for a second I thought you were my husband..... who would have thought?

lildb said...

sounds like true love to me.

EE said...

Too funny!You all crack me up!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Nothing says "I love you" like a little poot.

BOSSY said...

Bossy loves to present little fart packages to her loved ones.

kittenpie said...

Hey, Mama Tulip's husband asserts that farts ARE a sign of love.

Queen Karana said...

LOL funny.
I was givin' lots of love in our house last night!

"you can SMELL the love..."

momomax said...

Perfect. I have nights like that with my mister...except not usually with the lovey dovey tootie part. I need to incorporate that detail more often.