Today it is with a heavy heart, dear Internet friends, that I report feeling deeply troubled about one of the readers of this blog.
I am worried that Nick is missing a testicle.
Last Friday, I got the following comment notification e-mail from Nick:
To: Oh The Joys
Subject: New Comment on Oh, The Joys
Nick has left a new comment on your post "Imagining Ceremony":
The mayor and the rooster is actually what I call my penis and balls.
what a coincidence. Truly.
Because The Mayor and The Rooster are singular, they only name two things. (And under normal circumstances, I would think Nick would need THREE names... you know... down there in the Yipee Yahoo region.)
Let's deconstruct his message, shall we?
I think it is reasonable to assume that The Mayor of Nick's crotch... is a DICK.
This either leaves Nick with two balls sharing a single name... OR... this is a cry for help.
Who ever heard of TWO balls with ONE name?
This is a cry for help! Nick needs attention!
Nick wants us to know that his poor, little testicle is flying solo.
Poor solitary testicle without a wingman.
Please send Nick your condolences regarding his missing testicle at firstname.lastname@example.org.
We're here for you Nick. Get well soon.