Big Mouthed Idiot Wins Again

I’ve been facilitating meetings for the past two days and have had to arrive early and leave late.

Everything was set up and ready yesterday morning so I was drinking coffee and reading a few blog posts.

One of the male meeting participants arrived and I offered to share my table with him.

He set his computer up and said,

“I’ll be right back. I'm going to get a cup of coffee.”

[Excellent idea, man! Go forth and worship at the pot of the sacred black drink as I and so many others have done before you.]

When he came back he insisted on chatting despite the fact that I was trying to read about the new Lead Poison Barbie.

[Did you know that Barbie used to be a man? Growing up I didn’t know that she used to be a he. It sure explains a lot, right?]

Anyway…

Coffee drinking man told me that he doesn’t usually drink coffee.

“Why would you NOT drink coffee?” I asked him.

[As if a good reason could exist.]

He took a sip of coffee and said,

“When caffeine combines with the Ritalin I take for my ADD it’s just too much.”

I struggled to think of anything remotely resembling an appropriate response.

“Plus there’s the whole narcolepsy thing. I have narcolepsy too.”

I grasped desperately for something to say to this early morning, hyper-caffeinated over-sharer but fumbled and said,

“You have narcolepsy? Really?!!! That's great.”

[Don't be intimidated by my overwhelming powers of compassionate understanding.]

Before I could die of shame, Coffee Man snorted in a Beavis and Butthead-ish way and said,

"Heh Heh. I know, it's awesome. Want me to drive you somewhere later?"

I think we're friends.