My mom dated Johnny Italiano* before she met my dad.
Johnny recently contacted her through classmates.com and it turns out he lives in Georgia.
When he found out that my mom would be here last weekend (taking care of my children so I could get my National Park Ranger jollies) he suggested they get together
so he could show off his figure so he could see how she held up so they could catch up.
He came over Saturday morning and found The Mayor and The Rooster playing on the front porch while my mom drank coffee.
That night I heard all about it from The Mayor.
"Mom, Mr. John has a really cool car and it goes 200 miles an hour!"
"How exciting, Mayor!"
"It's blue with a yellow stripe and it's called a Viper. We should get one. Can we get one? Please???"
If I ever buy a new car I'm afraid the best I'll be able to do is this:
I am old.
I have lost any and all connectivity to coolness.
I embrace my inner minivan.
*Not his real name.