The Mayor finally got to chew his gum.
He carefully unwrapped it, stuck it in his mouth, chewed for 15 seconds and said,
"Gack! Ptht! Mommy, this is disgusting! I don't like it."
I told him to spit it in the garbage can.
He spit it out and begged for a drink to get rid of the taste.
Not just any drink... oh, no.
Milk is to The Mayor what National Park Ranger uniforms are to me.
He doesn't just ask for milk, he specifically asks for "fresh, cold milk."
He actually speaks in italics.. and breathy ones at that.
"Mommy, please can I have Fresh... Cold.... Milk?"
Washing away the evil wrong taste of Bazooka Joe, he slurped the milk down with a shiver of pleasure.
[Complete. Toddler. Moo-gasm.]
After his post-milk cigarette, he said,
"Mommy, next time can you get me gum without a flavor?"
"I don't think so, Mayor. All of the gum I know of comes in flavors."
He thought about that for a moment and then said,
"Okay, then could you get me some milk flavored gum?"
I'll get right on that.