Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Who You Calling A Hotard?

Tomorrow I'm flying to Biloxi for a staff retreat.

The staff retreat planning committee sent out an e-mail yesterday outlining the itineraries for travel groups 1 and 2.

I am in travel group 1.

I have to be at the airport at... I don't know... practically the night before.

Travel group 2 flies at 1:30 in the afternoon.

[WTF?]

[Oh, no you people DINT give me the air travel shaft?!]

[Oh. Yes. You People. DID!]

[Thank GOT Megan is coming to kidnap me when I get there!]

Despite the Butt Crack of Dawn departure, the news is not all bad for my travel group.

Friendly people driving automobiles will pick up my travel team from the airport, but travel group 2 will be picked up by a "Hotard Coach."

I take some consolation in knowing that my place of employment believes I am already fully competent in
the art of combining promiscuity with mental slowness.

No Hotard coaching needed here!

Oh, the proud!






45 comments:

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Ohhh, someone is going to get a staff retreat shirt to wear just before "business time".

I know it is a "team building" shirt but I think "staff retreat" works just as well...if not better.

Theresa said...

We want photos of the water balloons being dropped out of the hotel windows.

Mary Alice said...

Well if you have to go to Biloxi for a retreat, I guess this is the time of year to do it. I lived there and really being in the water and out of the water? Not much difference. Both hot. Both wet.

BOSSY said...

So so so so so so so funny - Bossy wishes she could weave all her "so"s into a tapestry you could use to cover your ass back up.

we_be_toys said...

Nice Outfit! I think it looks better on you than on Lindsay Lohan - she's too young for "Ho-Wear" anyway! As always, a Joy to read!

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

I just want your mad photoshop skilz!

Patience said...

Wow! You're tatas look really big in that outfit!!!!

Kevin Charnas said...

HHAA!! jesus christ... okay, look...you know how I like to help and all, so when they set up the "Hotard" Olympics, please let me know...'cause I'd like to volunteer.

WHO THE HELL AM I KIDDING???

Let me know, so I can compete.

QT said...

That pic is your best work to date!

Above Average Joe said...

Another silver lining: Smaller lines at the check-in and you can nap on the plane.

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

I'm jealous that you get to meet Megan. Glad you're not on the hotard.

Velveteen Mind Megan said...

The major silver lining is half a day with me!!!

As long as you don't mind being picked up in a Ghetto Fabulous Land Yacht. It's only slightly better than a HOTARD.

Now we'll be more like the pimps. Don't forget to pack your ho(tard)-slapping hand.

goodtwin said...

Have a great time on your trip.

furiousBall said...

Wow I would be so proud getting on a Hotard bus... I don't mind the earlier flights, you don't always have to wear pants.

CamiKaos said...

look at you with your mad hotard skills!

flutter said...

This blog is so clearly in violation of anti hotard discrimination laws.

liv said...

Is it just me or do I sense a little faux sincerity in the apology to LiLo? But, you still reign as queen of photoshop in your Hotard Mess ways.

Mamma said...

If Lindsay went out in public in that outfit you owe her NO apologies.

Sugarplum's Mom said...

LOL.. "butt crack of dawn" is an expression that has always made me giggle. I heard another one the other day "crack of ugly"

I don't ennvy those early morning flights. Last time I had to take one our flight was cancelled and we stood in line for 6 hours trying to get a new one. We were not happy campers.
Good luck and have a great time!

Renée said...

As I was reading your post, I was thinking, Hotard? Is this some cute expression that I'm not getting because I haven't been reading this blog long enough?

Then I clicked on the link.

Hee. That's probably somebody's family name. And they're driving around with it on their busses. What hotards.

Renée
The Empty Nest

Kyla said...

Hotard. Heh heh heh.

Renée said...

Oh, and if you don't take a picture of yourself standing next to that bus and post it here, then you really are a hotard. :o

Renée
The Empty Nest Blog

fidget said...

now that's a hot mess

suchsimplepleasures said...

well, i was just about to make a comment about what kind of staff retreat are you going on, looking like a two-bit, oldest known profession, lindsey lohan wannabe...but...everyone else got to it first.
so, enjoy. remember to cover-up...it gets cold at night...especially when you are scantily clad...

Victoria said...

I would skip the flight and take a Hotard bus all the way to Biloxi. I would wear a Team Hotard shirt too. I'm just sayin...

Natalie said...

Bwahaha, I am so internally giggling at work right now, and trying hard to not let that internal become external. Oops, too late, my wacky officemate is now Googling Hotard.

SusieJ said...

I think retreat is the appropriate word here!

Mrs. Chicky said...

Could you photoshop me so I look that good? Photoshop me baby.

motherbumper said...

who you calling a hotard? (says motherbumper into a mirror)

Amanda said...

When I lived in WA state I always struggled when we'd pass the sign for Dufur, OR. It just seemed impossible to imagine someone from Dufur not being called a dufus.

carmachu said...

OUCH. That sucksyou have to get up the butt crack of dawn...but considering your experience with butt cracks...:D

Slackermommy said...

Get out! I would love to hear the jokes fly with the Hotard's employees.

Welcome aboard Hotard Coaches. Make yourself comfortable as we give you the ride of your life.

Maddy said...

Good grief! Well that's a whole new career move available to you. Maybe you'll get a pole for your Christmas present and then you'll be all set!
Cheers

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

MamaLee said...

lmao

So where can I get an outfit like that hot black number?

Loralee Choate said...

Excuse me? Lindsay Lohan should be HONORED to have your mug on her bod.

That way some of your genius might sink in to her lame brain by osmosis. (I don't think you can undo all the damage, though. You're only human for Christsake)

FENICLE said...

That does kind of suck! Are you eating tuna for dinner and they get lobster??

Lucky you getting to meet Megan!!!

Dory said...

*Butthead giggling*

Hotard. I am SO totally using that.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Hotard. HOTARD?

F'ing hilarious.

You and LL make a hot hotard, btw.

JCK said...

I think this is really you. Lindsay was in rehab when this was taken.

Have fun! Man, you are gettin' out. A lot!

painted maypole said...

really, i think LINDSEY should be apologizing to you... to me... to everyone for... well... everything.

-The Shiny Happy Mama- said...

Hotard is my new favorite snarky insult. Seriously, laughed out loud!!! How many Scrabble points is it????

Agnes Liebowitz said...

Hotard was the name of the dorm where my husband lived while in college. Admittedly, the name does conjure...um...images of the kind of person you describe, but along with them (at least in my head) reside some fabulous memories.
http://wordgirl5.typepad.com/apathy_lounge

Anonymous said...

does anyone hear casualpal.com?

Jo Beaufoix said...

I have to learn how to do that photo stuff. You look tres hotard.

VDog said...

Is that your "O" face?? Bwahahaha