Thursday, January 03, 2008

Conditions Are Perfect

I mumbled passive aggressive statements at K all the way from our front door to the neighborhood playground in the last days of our two week holiday break.

[Because I am, like, so totally mature.]

“Look,” he said. “You’re in a really bad mood. Why don’t you take a walk, have some time alone and see if it makes you feel any better?”

[THE GALL!]

“Because you’ll be a martyr about it!” I said.


He threw up his hands, looked to the heavens, shrugged his shoulders and made that face, the one that says,

“FIFTY YEARS WITH HER, GOD? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!”


“Alright! Alright! Give me the house key,” I demanded.


K took it off his key ring and tossed it to me.

Without another word I stormed off in a huff and marched towards home.

There were only thirty minutes of daylight left and the walk home was easily that long.

The whole way home I muttered cartoon character complaints under my breath.

“Rucka sfrana snorka blurkcka, blah, blah, blah.”


“…and another thing..."

“EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM ME!!”

I am certain that to any outside observer I appeared to be a complete, raving lunatic.

[Or talking on a blue tooth.]

I stomped as I walked.

I swore.

I furrowed my brow.

[Categorically, I would have to call it an old-school, jerk-style tantrum.]

Finally I reached the back door of our house, unlocked it and went inside only to hear our car pull into the driveway.

GAH!

I hadn’t even unzipped my coat.

I turned around and went back out to help K with the small people.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It's just... I just feel… crowded.”

“I know,” he said. “You’re funny.”


Funny.

That's a nice way to put it.

Today I'm not crowded.

No!

Today, conditions are perfect.

Today is the first day of…


DAYCARE 2008!!!

Sinister Joy

73 comments:

liv said...

but, it is thursday...so business time was yesterday...alas.

but, daycare?? yes, i'm thinking that the return to montessori sounds divine come monday!

meno said...

Hallelujah! Nothing like little people clinging to you all day to make you feel crowded.

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

I hear ya sister. Yesterday was return to daycare for my 2 1/2 year old. PRAISE JEEBUS!

Now if I can just get our pesky school system to open our elementary school early. ;)

I totally understand, though. And it's a relief to me to hear other moms lament about the holiday smothering factor. I love my family, but...

Mama needs her space.

All Adither said...

Crowded. What a great way to phrase it.

I think I'll use that.

Angie
www.AllAdither.com

All Adither said...

And one more thing...it's blog posts like this one that helps me know I'm not alone in the world.

Ah, I need a job.

Angie
www.AllAdither.com

hello insomnia said...

It's business time! I need some business socks to get me in the mood.

furiousBall said...

you get your team building exercise t-shirt on too?

Mamma said...

The most wonderful time of the year...

Rima said...

I am so freakin' jealous!

slouching mom said...

You said it baby. Ben and Jack started school YESTERDAY.

Heaven, I'm in heaven...

Paige said...

Next week...next week daycare starts again. Can't wait until next week. Sigh.

Hydes Like Us said...

Ah! Sweet freedom! :)

Mrs. Hyde

Gretchen said...

Wonderful! Day care - that is!

We all have those moments. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Sandra said...

Hooray for daycare!

Happy, happy new year to you!

Mango Marie said...

Oh sis'tar...I totally understand! Today was my first day back at work in TWO WEEKS and the kids went BACK TO SCHOOL today! Yeah! Life is back to normal! Ok, somewhat.

Jen said...

Crowded, lord yes, I totally know what you mean. Funny how quickly "happy holiday togetherness" can become "holiday family laying on top of you and smashing the breath out of you".

JaniceNW said...

Ah yes. Enjoy the peace and quiet. I know how you feel. Our house in teeny and my teens are big, ya know? I haven't spent a day alone at home for weeks. Next Monday........sigh.

flutter said...

ah yes, but are you sorting the recycling? Because that's not part of it, but it is still very important

Mimi said...

Bless you, Jess, for being just like me, but funnier. Is it wrong that I was so happy to send Munchkin to daycare today? (It helped that once she found out she was going to daycare, she refused to eat breakfast and threw a tantrum at the back steps until someone put her coat on and packed her lunch.)

Crowded. Ha!

Family Adventure said...

You're a lucky girl...you've got K to save you from the little people!

Heidi

Lisa said...

Amen, sista! Only I have to wait until the 7th!

Hetha said...

K is the man. When I get in those moods my man just gets defensive and makes me more mad. Ugh! I so wish I could send mine away once in awhile.

~JJ! said...

Yup, you got a good one there sistah.

Maybe he should wear his Park Ranger outfit again!

The Chick said...

We ALL feel you! Little Boy went back to school on Wednesday. 'Twas loverly.

Damselfly said...

"Rucka sfrana snorka blurkcka"...I have so sworn like this!

QT said...

Here's hoping you get lots o minutes in heaven, baby...

Caro said...

Yay for daycare and K who understands.

dawn224 said...

Whoo hoo!

yes, things are slowly returning to normal, here too.

(Love your fussypants necklace, love your story of the Mayor - I won't own Disney movies for that whole ball of wax)

Tara R. said...

I remember those days fondly... yet, my oldest leaves to go back to college Friday and I won't see her again for about two months (Spring Break). I'll really miss her.

Jennifer said...

I know that feeling crowded feeling. It is tantrum worthy. Totally.

Cara said...

I am with you, I love Daycare!

Worker Mommy said...

I was feeling your pain w/my stepdaughters ...I was so ready to be free of the teenage drama. The fighting with one another, my phone ringing off the hook, the videos played at volume 50 on the tv...food being left on the counter tops....
Yes, I'm pretty sure I did a jig when they headed off to school.

psychicgeek.com said...

You know, I still can't get that "It's business time" song out of my tiny little brain.

Omaha Mama said...

Little ones crowd. Mama says, go away and play for a minute. They come back. Mama says...

Mrs. Chicken said...

Lady, I only have one I am counting the seconds until preschool on Tuesday.

CamiKaos said...

I know how you feel. Monday will be the first day of FULL DAY SCHOOL 2008

jeanie said...

Hmmm - where were those two strong arms you needed?

I had one of them yesterday! And school here doesn't start until the 29th.

Slackermommy said...

Very funny and I can definitely relate. I turn into a real bitch once I surpass feeling "crowded" to feeling "suffocated".

Bastet said...

I do enjoy having arguements with myself...they do go rather well. LOL!

suchsimplepleasures said...

my kids went back wednesday! school...not daycare. but, they get home WAAAAAAAAAY too early! i need a vacation from their vacation...and...from hubby, who is on break, also... oy vey! help me!

Motherhood Uncensored said...

I hear good things about this "DAYCARE" phenomenon.

One day, perhaps, I too will taste the sweet fruits.

Stella said...

Thats a great way to put it! I felt crowded, too! I feel that way sometimes at the end of the day!!

Today was our first day of daycare 2008, too!

angela said...

“Rucka sfrana snorka blurkcka, blah, blah, blah.”

I wish I could've seen that.

theotherbear said...

The description of you stomping home and muttering to yourself really sounds like something I would do. Only you were probably exaggerating, but I really have done things like this! Oh, and I have no kids to get away from, just my husband...

Sarcastic Mom said...

I will live vicariously through you and your perfect conditions.

How creepy is THAT?

zellmer said...

Since our daughter became a toddler,
Monday's become our favorite day of the week. Yay daycare!

Jenn said...

There are days I'm not certain who is more excited to get to the sitter, Little A or me.

And maybe it was just my imagination, but I swear the heavens opened up a little when I dropped her off yesterday.

creative-type dad said...

Wow - that is pretty happy.f

Jenifer said...

I AM the daycare and some days it is damn hard.

Happy New Year!

Alpha DogMa said...

I son can't wait for school to start, because I am "SO BORING!" Nice.

Stimey said...

That picture says it all. I had a tantrum this morning because one of my kids was sick and couldn't go to preschool. So much for my two hours alone. Sigh.

mothergoosemouse said...

My sentiments exactly. It was a lovely, productive day - thanks to day care.

Loralee Choate said...

52 comments shall not daunt me from telling you how much I loved this post.

Nay, even eleventyhundered comment (Which it deserved) could not bar my big-ass hands from flying over the keyboard to profess my adoration.

AND?

"“FIFTY YEARS WITH HER, GOD? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!”"

Is SO being plagiarized in form of one xx t-shirt for my husband's birthday.

(Unless you decide to sell them here, in which I would be more than happy to pony up 20+ smackers)

JO-N said...

eSo, the conditions are perfect today? I can see that in the grin on your face.

Shannon said...

You're expression cracks me up.

Multi-tasking Mommy said...

You're hilarious!

We're not allowed using the word martyr in our house because when it is used on me, I just go through the roof!!!!

Sometimes we all need our own space :)

For the Love... said...

The FlyingMonkeys were out of school for 21 days...Rob was off work for 11 days...Yesterday was the first time I have been alone in a very long time...I did a little dance.

Circus Kelli said...

Bwahahahahahaha! I know EXACTLY what you mean. :)

Julie Pippert said...

Oh how well do I know that feeling!!

No school for us until next week. The kids are past ready. Even the 3 year old last night said, "I go to my school tomorrow?"

Lucky you and here's to Monday sunny Monday for us.

Mrs. G. said...

Excellent!

we_be_toys said...

Oh Happy Day! Return to Daycare - its the must-see sequel of the year!
(love the cartoon cussing, btw - so very Popeye the Sailor Man of you!)

Kimmylyn said...

Oh, the sweet sound of quiet!! Lucky you!!

Christina said...

School is back in session on Monday, and it couldn't come soon enough. I need my mornings with only one around me.

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

tooo HILARIOUS and yet...so realistic! ;o) bravo blog!

Avery Gray said...

Oh yeah! Bow-chick-bow-wow!

Redneck Mommy said...

LOL. I sorely needed the laugh today, Jess. Thanks.

And here's to Monday, when I'm no longer responsible for listening to the squabbles of my children and they become the problem of paid professionals.

Sweet.

Janet said...

Gah! I had the *exact* same tantrum yesterday! But it was in my toddler's bedroom. At 9:45 p.m. After she spilled water all over her footy pyjamas. And I had to get work completed for a client for this morning. My hubby swooped in and rescued me (or her, depending on your perspective). Because I have no daycare. I am the daycare.

Fuck.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I wish I was able to walk things off...

I make 'em suffer. :)

JCK said...

The return to daycare is divine intervention. And since at some point in the near future they'll be going full-time, while I return to work full-time, I draw sustenance from blog posts like yours letting me know that it is O.K. and will feel good. Thank you. And nothing like walking home in a huff to get refreshed and ready for little people...again, in your house - how can this be?

kittenpie said...

Yah. We all know that feeling!

Lawyer Mama said...

I here ya babe. I love my little people too but damn was I happy to drop them at the sitter this week.

Lotta said...

Quit seducing me with your daycare porn.

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