Monday, January 07, 2008

Politics, Photoshop and The House of Joy Have A Three Way

For years the people of the land endured the tedious ramblings of the wicked cowboy....

And maybe it happened because (according to Kelly)
there have been storms in Oklahoma...

[or was it Nebraska?... or Kansas? ... or maybe Iowa...]

I can't say for sure.

I only know that a storm blew through The House of Joy and...

Oh, The NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEESSS!




A linen cabinet crushed that cowboy!

When the people of the land saw that the cowboy was dead there was a great rejoicing!

Ding Dong, The Cowboy's Dead!




The people were happy he was dead because the cowboy would drone on incessantly, saying things like,

"Howdy, Pardner!"

"There's a snake in my boot!"

"You're my favorite deputy!"
and
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

The perp, who is a minor, was a bit remorseful about the whole thing.





Not to worry!

Pundit Mom said,





Adios, Wicked Witch!




Sayonara, Flying Monkey!



The House of Joy is fresh out of linen cabinets.

We'll have to rely on them...










*******DISCLAIMER*******


Hey. This is not a political blog.

This, friends, is an idiotic blog.

Last night, after The Mayor and The Rooster went to bed, K noticed Woody the Cowboy's gruesome fate and I recorded it for posterity.

Then K went to the living room to watch The Lives of Others which I had already seen.

This post is what happens when I am left alone with my blogger account, nothing to write about, my photoshop program and access to the internet.

I will say that if I had to pick a candidate tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do it.

Perhaps a little national unity is just the thing we need... after all, there is no place like home, right?





***********************************
Photobucket

Best comment of the day goes to... Zellmer.
[Hilare!]




66 comments:

Shannon said...

I know who I'll vote for....the candidates who haven't had their drones call my frickin house at all hours of the day and night.

Living in NH SUCKS moosedoody right now.

Lisa said...

I love your photoshop skillz!

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

I lurve me an idiotic blog!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Rock on sister. Rock on.

mothergoosemouse said...

I cannot think of a better way to have begun my day than by reading this post.

Sunshine said...

Did you go to the Absolutely Bananas School of Photoshop?

Love the idiocy...if you'd had that Bush graphic done, I'd have worn it as a button to the caucuses last week!!!

Cara said...

You have excellent Photoshop skills and a wicked sense of humor. Love it!

furiousBall said...

I keep on crossing names off the possible votes moreso than reaffirming any one candidate. After the last two elections though, I'm very worried about who wins the Dumbfuckistan (aka Red States) vote.

PunditMom said...

Who knew I'd look so good in pink!

Just in case you need one, I can replace that Woody and raise you a Buzz Lightyear! ;) And just let us know when you're hosting the blogger Photoshop tutorial!

All Adither said...

George looks like he swallowed a frog.

Angie
www.AllAdither.com

The Super Bongo said...

You gots mad skills with them photo thingies. I loved it.

JoeInVegas said...

Right now, there's no place like someplace else. (at least until after next Jan 20th)

Holly said...

I know your main idea here was politics, but I have to say, it cracks me up whenever he says, "I've got a snake in my boot!" Don't know why, it makes me laugh.

Jenifer said...

It takes a clever lady to make this post NOT political.

Bye Woody!

Jennifer said...

LOVE. IT.

But, oh, that flying monkey is the scariest thing I've ever seen. Even out of the monkey suit. ;)

we_be_toys said...

I love the Wicked witch and the evil flying monkey that you 'shopped - are you SURE those aren't untouched, actual photos of them?
Not bad for having nothing to say!

Lawyer Mama said...

That's one scary looking flying monkey.

I love how Edwards is Dorothy. You rock, Jess!

QT said...

Does Edwards as Dorothy mean that I am bi if I want to sleep with him?

I mean, that isn't the ONLY criteria I'm using, but this post may give me nightmares of some kind.....

CamiKaos said...

I know who I'm voting for... but I loved this whole wizard of oz bit none the less...

cce said...

Lions and Tigers and Bears aside, If even one of those four can make it to Oz I'll be a happy camper. Thanks for the laugh and I'm with sunshine...can you make t-shirts of that image?

Misty Dawn said...

You are major talented and awesomely funny! I love your blog.

Magpie said...

I love that last one - well, it's all good, but the last one is terrific.

-The Shiny Happy Mama- said...

Wanna marry me? You crack me up. I cannot resist your mad skillz. I actually know a real park ranger, if that helps ;-)

Paige said...

You've got mad talent, sister.

Beck said...

One of the nice things about being Canadian is not having to vote for any of the American candidates.
Poor Woody.

Life As I Know It said...

That's great!

I like the political slant...

Sarah O. said...

This is the best post I've read in ages. You had me at the photo of poor Woody.

Lisa Milton said...

This isn't a serious political blog!?

I love it when you have some time on your hands; it brings a chuckle from my belly.

(I couldn't pick a candidate today either.)

Mrs. Chicky said...

That picture of the flying monkey terrified me. I may not sleep tonight.

Tracysan said...

Just awesome. I recently watched The Lives of Others, too. What a great flick. A good reminder of what can happen when we give up our civil liberties.

Damselfly said...

That's a good look for K. And Edwards.

Rebecca said...

I tried to watch the debate but I just became sick from all the posturing. There's more than one candidate I'd like to see under a linen cabinet

Hetha said...

I think you should start lobbying Adobe to give you free photoshop upgrades. Genius, you!

zellmer said...

hilare. (that's short for hilarious, not french for hillary)

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I can't pick one either. I think you should run for president...America would be a lot more fun!

Jen M. said...

Can I hire a hitman at the house of joy? Because we have one of those and the "Yoooou're my favorite Depuuuuty!" really rakes my nerves.

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

totally clever - and hilarious!
ju ga' talent ma! ;o)

Cathy said...

Love this!!!

Such masterful photoshop abilities you have -- especially when left unattended!

Loralee Choate said...

I sprayed my damn monitor at Dick Cheney as a flying monkey (And I'm a moderate conservative! HEE!)

Redneck Mommy said...

I love American politics.

I love them even more with your photoshop skillz.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Seriously, I cannot figure out who I want to cast my vote for. I am so torn between three Dems. Ack, the pressure!

angela said...

wow. hillary makes an exceptional scarecrow.

carrie said...

After listening to hours of talk radio today, I'm all adither about the candidates too.

I wish I had a magic linen cabinet that would fall on our talking woody.

NotSoSage said...

Now, that's a three way I can get behind. Erm...

Ahem.

Anyway...I loved The Lives of Others. Did you?

stephanie said...

I would feel far more interested in the whole election process if the candidates would dress up in costumes now & then...

Nice work; it pays to be bored sometimes eh?

anastasia beaverhausen said...

I'm one of the woeful liberals in Dumbfuckistan (Texas). Feel my pain.

Claire B. said...

If we don't laugh, we run the risk of crying.

The munchkin pic is the most hilarious thing I've seen on the internets in weeks. Thanks for putting this together for our pleasure (or was it just for your own?) Whatever, we love it.

PS thanks to furiousball for "Dumbfuckistan". I used to live there and now I live where we have a female gov and two female us senators. I can just breathe better here.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

I voting Coffee for President. It never does me wrong....

JCK said...

Too clever for words.

And to me there is something exciting about the fact that we don't know who the democratic candidate will be, but thank GOD there will be one. Let's hope he/she can take the White House. We need hope. We need change. We need experience. Hopefully the magic formula, or something workable will show itself.

Please do sell that Bush button. Please.

EE said...

You are too good!!!!!!

Haley-O said...

AWESOME photoshopping! Loved it! (And, I'm Canadian...!)

jen said...

your brain is freakish. simply freakish. and i love it.

kellypea said...

I love your blog and your amazing sense of humor. You go, girl. Seriously. I'm too lazy to mess with Photoshop right now. I'll live vicariously through you, 'kay?

Queeny said...

I needs me some photoshop.

London treasure hunt photos said...

Very creative, it got a good laugh out of me. Though your timing is amazing since I was battered here in the midwest last night by a tornado. So I know how that poor cowboy feels!

g-man said...

Yeah, boredom, Photoshop, and high speed internet are the trifecta for the creation some strange stuff! Keep it up.

Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I'm voting for the tin man. He's hot.

JayJenny said...

This was hilarious - you are brilliant and witty, and I thank you for making me smile on a day when I didn't want to. Thanks!

Glennia said...

Totally hilarious! I especially like Punditmom's makeover.

Avery Gray said...

How long did this take you?! Awesome job!

Shaping Youth said...

We NEED you in our creative consortium at Shaping Youth, where we deal with media & marketing's impact on kids. Guest commentary, PhotoShop whiz, your call...

If art directors can have enough time enough to launch viral spoofs of Firefox/fake blogs and sexualized slop 'for fun' then "we the people" need to PhotoShop & counter-market to a farethewell...

You're EXACTLY the talented witty wonder we're trolling for, woohoo!
Come visit us and see what I mean. (p.s. I'm a pal of 'mom' at "Outside the ToyBox" which is how I found you!)

Rock on w/that sardonic humor, you've made the day for SO many of us!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

OMG, Jess. You are just too amazing with PhotoShop!!

Girl con Queso said...

You are hilarious. Truly.

painted maypole said...

he he he

The Sour Kraut said...

Go Tin Man

toddlerplanet said...

Wow! MAD photoshop skillz indeed!

Awesome.