Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Prove It, Mr. Mom

I've been working with The Rooster on her effort to keep her pull-up dry and clean.

"Where does poop and pee go, Rooster?"

"IN THE POTTY!" she yells.

"Let's listen, Mommy," she says.

I am supposed to press my ear to hers while she sits on the throne. Together, head to head, we listen for the telltale tinkling sound.

When it comes, we pull our heads back and give each other a surprised and delighted look as though we've just been given an unexpected gift.

[In truth, it IS a gift to me. One less diaper to change!]

And then...

"I want to see your penis," she says.

"I don't have a penis, Roo."

"Yes, you do," she insists.

"Um, really. I don't."

She considers this.

"I want to see your naked body, Mommy."

So now I have to prove to my daughter that I am not a man?

Oh, the indignities!

I think it might be time for a wax.



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Best comments of the day go to... Sugarplum's Mom, Damselfly, Sarcastic Mom, and Mrs. Fussypants.
[Hee hee hee!]

59 comments:

something blue said...

You never fail to make me laugh!

furiousBall said...

I've tried that same pick up line at bars with women, totally different reaction.

Tracey said...

How cute! Wait until she is 8 and declares to you in the middle of the doctor's office that she has "hair down there, Mommy!" Oh good grief. Turns out what she thought was "hair" was the regular pech fuzz that covers the whole body. Thank goodness...

slouching mom said...

Jack asked me a similar question two or so years ago, and, when he heard my answer (nope! haven't got one!), he looked at me sympathetically and said, "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Sadie said...

LMAO!!! OMG! How wonderfully embarrasingly...odd. *giggle* You gave me a much needed laugh today...well, Rooster did!

All Adither said...

Did you rise to the challenge?

Angie
www.AllAdither.com

dawn224 said...

This would be the time my hubs would chime in about me having his balls in my pocket and would really mess things up.

Jenifer said...

Rosebud asked me the first time yesterday why I had hair on my privates. She wanted to touch it to see if it was real.

Oh it's real sweetie!

I can only wonder what she was really thinking.

Lori at Spinning Yellow said...

My three year old daughter gets mad when you tell her she doesn't have a penis. Oh, yes, she does, she is quite certain! I'm hoping her "penis envy" goes away soon. Meanwhile, my son keeps correcting her and telling me to show her how I have a 'gina just like she does!

Oh, the indignities, indeed.

And waxing? Not for a million dollars. I did it one time and never, NEVER, again, it hurt worse than anything I've ever endured!!!

Victoria said...

Hilarious!!! =)

Bon said...

the indignities. heck, show'r the hair. help shape her image of, erm, natural beauty. ;)

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Haha!

I've been asked how I lost my penis.

Ali said...

we're doing the toilet-ing thing too...it's great fun, isn't it? ;)

Avery Gray said...

My son said the same thing this morning! It must be a kid thing.

Not the Queen said...

Nice! So, um, out of curiosity, why is Roo asking you about your penis, and not K about his lack of female parts?

motherbumper said...

Solidarity sister (or should I say bro?) - Bumper calls me Daddymum all the freakin' time. She's giving me a complex.

liv said...

well, you know i'm a waxing kinda girl...

yeah, you might have to prove that you're a laydee....sheesh. kids these days are such skeptics.

Kara said...

nice! My son yesterday after asking me what my breasts were for, said that I was a big hairy boy. um no. I'm a girl. Mommy's are girls. Nooo he says. Your a big hairy boy. niccce thanks kid.

Lisa Milton said...

'So now I have to prove to my daughter that I am not a man?'

You have cheered me up so with this line...if that doesn't explain what motherhood is like sometimes, I don't know what will.

WA said...

Peanuts? Why would mommy have peanuts?

everaftermyway said...

bwahahaha. Too funny!

Sugarplum's Mom said...

LOL! A former co-worker of mine has twin girls. One day her gramma was visiting and she informed her mom that she wanted a garden hose like daddy has. Mom says "you mean like the one daddy uses in the backyard?" She says "no, like Daddy uses in the bathroom"
Poor thing could not understand why her mother and grandmother were in complete hysterics laughing at her.

Damselfly said...

Reminds me of a true story I read in a magazine about a little boy learning to stand up and pee who said to his mom, "You've gotta get one of these things!"

Damselfly said...

PS Maybe Roo just thinks you da man!

Julie Pippert said...

LOL I have had this same argument with my girls.

What's up with that?

Are boys this determined on this issue?

flutter said...

Yeah, I think kids would make me lose it....that is funny

carrie said...

Don't feel bad, I had to take my daughter with me to the "lady docta" yesterday.

You can only imagine the conversations we had before, during and after that!

Biddy said...

bwaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

i think i'd rather get asked about my non existant penis than my non existant baby in my belly!

Beck said...

My Baby has been known to shake her head while having a bath with me and say, mournfully, "Poor yucky mama."
Yes. Poor me.

anna said...

I will never forget when our Middle pointed to my naked body and said in utter surprise, "Hair dere!"

mamatulip said...

Oliver asks to see my penis a lot too. When I tell him I don't have one, he asks to see my balls.

Usually by that point I'm laughing too hard to answer him. It gets me every time.

we_be_toys said...

Oy! You and the Rooster crack me up! You're going to have to keep an eye on that one - she's too sharp!
I love the listening and shared look of delight upon hearing the tinkle tinkle - so cute!

Catherine said...

A has an older brother that can stand and pee. And in our house we use words like penis and vagina. So, one night as she's getting her diaper changed for bed time, she asks "pull it?" I'm not really paying attention, so "uhm, yeah." They she says, "pull my penis?" She's got a handful and yanking as hard as she could.

And because I'm a good mother, I tell her to go tell her dad what she's been doing.

Aliki2006 said...

Ha!

T.'s seen me naked a few time and she always silently scrutinizes me...I try not to wonder what she's thinking...

Worker Mommy said...

Huh, I haven't been asked that one yet. but seriously if the kids are in the bathroom while I'm going I just have to quickly pull up my pants.
I don't think I'm really ready for the "What is that hair, Mommy, and why don't I have it ?" discussion!

cce said...

ROFL...why oh why do even the girls think the penis is superior? My daughter used to call it Daddy's tail and sort of giggle about its being slightly out of place. That is before she discovered that all males suffer the same little coincidence.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

ROFL! Now my boys ask where mine is all the time or if I have one... but I'm the only girl in the house so they are clearly confused. Apparently, I peepee and poopie from my bum!

Misty Dawn said...

Oh my - she always cracks me up!

theotherbear said...

Hahahaha.

Mrs. Chicky said...

No, no penis but do you wear the pants in the family? Tell Roo that's what is important.

Mrs. Davis said...

We have some similar discussions here with our toddler. Every time the subject of bodily functions comes up, he has to do an "inventory" of who in the house has a penis, and who has boobs.

KTS said...

hysterical.

Chantelle said...

Man, your kids are a hoot.
I knew they started distrusting mom's authority eventually, but this wasn't the issue I would have picked.

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Um... I want to see your penis, too, Jess.

JCK said...

The obsession with the penis and the NEKKID body. It starts so...young. So, it's gotta be healthy. Waxing. Painful. But. Worth. It. Sometimes. I don't blame you for screaming.

Too precious image of you and Rooster ear to ear...love it.

Mrs. Fussy Fussypants said...

Do not show Sarcastic Mom your penis.

Trust me. ;)

Also, what furiousball said- hilarious.

notfearingchange said...

i put a pull up on backwards on a 2 year old this christmas season...i'm over diapers....so over.

JO-N said...

So, did you prove to her?

MamaCarter said...

Well, at least she hasn't offered to *cough cough* "help" wipe you....not that my beloved toddler would do such a thing. Nopity nope, just making that one up I am! heh.

WILLIAM said...

What? No pictures as proof?

♥♥♥ A- Licious ♥♥♥ said...

omg...that was hilarious!! lol good blog story! kids...they never fail to entertain, do they? ;o)
but after reading everyone's comments...i see i have something in store to look fwd too??? eeeek. LOL

Kimmylyn said...

H.Y.S.T.E.R.I.C.A.L- you have out done yourself with this post.

not-so suburban momma said...

My 3 year old LOOVES her "veegie" as she calls it but one day in the (kiddie) pool she was reclining naked, splashing water over herself and asked me what was behind daddy's penis. after some careful consideration (looking for an easily repeatable word) I said-that's his scrotum. She stroked her chin and nodded her head and declared :that's right, his scrotum" as if retrieving a memory from grade 9 health class. I love that I have found a way to use the word scrotum in everyday conversation with strangers and friends alike.

A said...

We did the same get really quiet and listen for it routine at our house when I was PT'ing my daughter. Oh boy did we celebrate when we heard it.

And as for the other issue, I got today "ooh, mommy I like your boobies - can I touch them?" Never a dull moment.

suchsimplepleasures said...

my son is very aware that men/boys have a penis. but, one day, he had to come into a stall with me, while at a mall. he looked at me, as i pulled down my pants, in horror...he pointed at me and said "where did your penis go?"...i tried to explain to him that women don't have a penis. i figure, one day...he'll figure it out!
ps...reading another comment just now...my son told is preschool teacher that his mommy has hair down there!! it was absolutely hysterical!

Staci Schoff said...

Funny! Once about a year after my youngest had weaned, he asked if he could have some "mama milk" and I told him it's all gone and he (very sternly and aggressively!) said, "Let me SEE if there's any milk in there!"

I was like, hey, step away from my boobs kid.

Alpha DogMa said...

At 3, my eldest was saddened that some one "tooked your penis, mommy." And so it was we began to speak of the vulva. Any time and any place. Yes, my life is full glamour.

Nat said...

Hahah! You crack me up.

My son firmly believes that women pee out of their behinds. You know, since we don't have appendages and all.

Monica said...

I was gonna leave you a comment, but I'm busy cleaning my monitors 'cause I just coughed my coffee through my nose.

I so love your kids.

Monica