My oldest friend has had a really rough time getting pregnant, but is now in her third trimester preparing for the arrival of the small boy curled inside her belly whose name will be Jack.
She and I have been somewhat estranged since the birth of my children, but I got an e-mail from her yesterday updating me on the pregnancy and sharing her feelings about learning that she will have to have a scheduled c-section.
I asked her permission to post excerpts of her letter and she agreed.
Though I did not deliver by c-section, I imagine some of what she is feeling is normal and that many others have been through it before.
This particular friend isn't a blogger so she has never experienced the power of the mighty internet and this community of mothers.
I would be grateful if, after you read her words, you leave something encouraging for her in the comments section.
It is an enormous relief to know we're not alone.
Here is her letter.*..
6 weeks and counting!
Well, we found out today that we have to have a C-section. My many surgeries have taken too much of a toll on my poor uterus and our fantastic doctor does not want to risk either Jack's or my life chancing a rupture during labor.
We're in great hands and I'm trying to be optimistic. I've just been a little blue today, having to change gears so abruptly when I was focused on one path for so long. We'd even started our child birth classes. Which is now a total waste of our time. At least we'd only sat through one.
It's really strange. I was completely fine with a C-section on the last pregnancy, but for some reason this news has disappointed me. I told my husband that I felt broken because I can't do the basic things that all women are supposed to be able to do naturally. I couldn't conceive on my own and now I can't even deliver the baby.
I realize that this is not a true aspect of things and that the hurdles I have had to cross to get Jack into this world just make him that much more of a miracle and that I have been given a gift in spite of anything I'm feeling now.