Thursday, August 14, 2008

Inside Outside USA

For today's tale to work, you need to know that I hate The Beach Boys.

I'm aware that they made a significant contribution to the genre of rock music and all that crap, but still.

I. can't. stand. them.

So.

Last month, I escaped from domestic life and went to San Francisco by myself for five days.

K stayed home taking care of the short and loud people.

But did he bow humbly to the task?

Oh, no.

Instead, he achieved the perfect revenge.

My dear husband taught the children the complete lyrics to "Surfin' USA."

And now?

They sing it
over and over and over again, every freakin' day in high, falsetto voices.

[Ensuring that the GOT DAYUMMED song is permanently lodged in my head.]

"They'll be wearing their baggies, hurachi sandals too..."

Please.

I beg you.

Administer the ice pick to my forehead.


32 comments:

Aprylsantics said...

You are not alone. I loathe the Beach Boys and you can throw in Jan and Dean, too.

Shannon said...

They get the words right? I'm impressed.

My husband lets the kids listen to Mr. Roboto when he takes them out with him on errands. I believe it is his little form of revenge too.

They sing the song all. day. long...trying to harmonize...and they get the words all twisted and WRONG. In fact, half the song isn't even sung with real words! They've really got to work on their Japanese.

-The Shiny Happy Mama- said...

Hilarious! I hate the Beach Boys, too.

Cyndi said...

That is pretty severe revenge. It will only make you run away again sooner.

anneglamore said...

Joining you in the hateration. Especially when they play the BB "medley" at Jazzercise. THAT doesn't make me feel ancient, not at all.

GoteeMan said...

I have the solution, and I have posted it on my page...

J/

Amity said...

What an appropriate post for the day the Beach Boys played at Chastain... (That's what I was expecting the post to be about after the first couple lines.)

Little Monkies said...

The Beach Boys make my ears bleed.

Megan said...

Oh that is dirty pool. Genius, but dirty.

Vodka Mom said...

or, you could simply have a martini! It reminds me of my son singing "It's raining men!" at the top of his lungs. Ya just gotta laugh!

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

Ugh, the mere mention of Beach Boys and now I have "I wish they all could be California giiiirrrrllllllssss"

thanks a lot...LOL!

Ali said...

the ONLY good beach boys song...

"god only knows"

just saying :)

bzybead said...

G says, "you got your good beach boys and your bad beach boys, and that is the problem."

kittenpie said...

I'm aghast that anyone could hate the Beach Boys. AGHAST, I tell you. Of course, your counterpoint could be to teach them all the words to, say, Enter Sandman, and how to sing it in an appropriate growl. Or maybe Gary Neuman's Cars, in a robot-y voice, which they will no doubt remember to sing every time they have to drive somewhere...

Dirkey said...

Oh! Dear! Lord! you poor woman...
but seriously, your husband is an evil genius. That is amazing, he should work for the CIA

Gray Matter said...

At least it wasn't Kokomo.

The Beach Boys were my very first concert. How gay is that?

TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in your dislike for musical icons.

Me? I hate the Beatles. Beach Boys are next in line. That's right. I'm a communist. Or whatever they call people who don't like iconic music. Psh whatev!

I think we should start a club. One where we resist the oppressive society that insists we jump on the music bandwagon just because everyone else did. We shall call it: "The Notalemming Club". Whatcha think? :)

Margaret said...

Awwww...

My guys were just singing this this morning, surfing the living room rug.

But I don't mind it, so I thought it was cute. Except they wanted to know whay "Archie Sandles" were.

that girl (shelly) said...

Beach Boys suck -- your hubby needs revenge, are you working on that?

flutter said...

crap, now it is in my head too

Omaha Mama said...

That is funny! I grew up listening to the Beach Boys because my parents loved them. When I hear the Beach Boys I feel nostalgic for what was a pretty great childhood. So I'd be singing right along with your kiddos!

Rachel said...

That man is an evil genius. Right up there with Pinky and The Brain.

I am so very sorry for you. Yowch.

Beck said...

The Beach Boys are kind of awful. That Kokomo song, for example, is maybe in my top 10 most loathed songs ever.
And it's REALLY HILARIOUS that your husband did that. HAHAH!

Marmite Breath said...

Please tell me you don't hate The Beatles.

Or Lily Allen.

Or we're through.

SUEB0B said...

Brian Wilson is a supergenius! They didn't just contribute to rock music, they tore rock music up and put it back together again. I know it seems old and tired, but look: there was music before the Beach Boys and after the Beach Boys, and it was never the same after.

Wendy said...

That was pure EEEEE-VILLLLLL to teach that song!

justjuli said...

too funny. One of the things that is both great and horrifying about kids is their ability to do/say/sing/watch one thing over and over and over....

Good luck!

Tim said...

Could be worse...

Now that I think about it, it really can't be worse.

Let me find you that ice pick...

Magpie said...

Wow - he sure knows how to get your goat, doesn't he? Good trait.

Damselfly said...

A bushy, bushy blonde hairdo.... Oops, sorr

Damselfly said...

Sorry!

Joe Crawford (artlung) said...

So much hate for the wonderful output of Mr. Brian Wilson and The Beach Boys. It makes me rather sad to see the wanton hate expressed in the comments here. To each his or her own, is what they say though.

Please don't blame the Beach Boys -- clearly it's your HUSBAND that is the problem here. Devious and sneaky!

And your kids are mere stooges. I look forward to reading how you get him back by exposing them to some other wonderful music that hubby hates. :-)