Thursday, September 04, 2008

What B is For

"What letter are you studying this week at school, Rooster?" I asked.

"B!" she told me.

"Oh? What words start with the letter B?"

"I know," shouted The Mayor. "Baby!"

"That's right!" I beamed.

"Balloon!" yelled Rooster.

"Ball, bat bottle, bag...!!!" cried The Rooster

"Book, blue, bib, bone...!!!" added The Mayor

[Oh, the proud!]

K, who had been listening from the other room, came to join us.

"What about THIS?" he said, turning and pointing at his rear end with both pointer fingers.

Both children screamed with delight,

"BUTT!" 

For the rest of the evening, The Rooster repeatedly whipped around, thrust her backside in my direction, emphasized it with the double pointer finger treatment and yelled,

"What about THIS?!!"

I just know her teacher will put me in time out when I pick her up today...

"Ms. Joy, may I have a word with you please?"


25 comments:

Jill said...

Too bad you can't send K to pick them up so he could explain himself!

This totally sounds like something my husband would do, by the way. Interrupt a poignant parent/teaching moment with a butt joke. Dudes! Gotta love 'em!

Anonymous said...

We have a leapfrog refrigerator magnet that when you put a letter in it, it tells the kids what letter it is and the sound. So guess what B is in our house -- also BUTT. My 2 year old goes around pointing at everyone's butt. I am also worried what is going to happen at school when he gets to that letter.

Maureen said...

Har! Sounds like hubby is the one who needs the Time Out!

Amanda said...

Just wait until Briar tells her teacher that, "Daddy has a handle, but girls don't have handles, they got ba-gyyyynuhs."

Patience said...

And in my case, Big Butt!!

Gotta love 'em darlings!!

Liberal Banana said...

Hilarious!!!

Abbynormal said...

simply awesome

Sayre said...

I don't comment much anymore (you superstar blogger, you!) but I read you almost every day so I haven't deserted you either. Just wanted to let you know that I STILL absolutely adore your writing and the stories about Rooster, Mayor and K.

I know it's been a rough year, but I'm starting to see a brightening in your writing again. It's good to see.

So... how did the impromptu parent/teacher conference go????

Ravedogg said...

Well, it could have been worse - at least your munchkins won't run around yelling "What's this? Booty, baby!!" :)

nutmeg said...

Don't forget BOOBS! (two Bs!)

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

Haha! Yep, been there. Did he say and demonstrate "BURP" too? My husband did.

Omaha Mama said...

If my Brenna were there, she would politely tap K on the shoulder and whisper a reminder, "We say BOTTOM."
Of course, her preschool was in a church. We also don't say shut up, dumb, stupid...

Thanks for the smile.

JCK said...

This was GOOD. Just blame it on Mr. Joy. ;)

Damselfly said...

I love it!

Patois said...

Oh, yeah, the fear of sending our kids out until the world, only to have them show their true sides. (In her case, her backside.)

we_be_toys said...

Reminds me of a little disco tune - "Aw, we want the butt, gotta have the butt. We need the butt, gotta have the butt"

And the rest is pretty much the same, except for some la la las.

Those kids crack me up - they can come rock my world anytime - I love naughty-smart kids!

Circus Kelli said...

LOL!! Great story!!

Sweet Pea's favorite word for a while was BOOBIES!!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Ah yes, the ways we edumacate our youngins at home.

Scary Mommy said...

LOL, but Butt? That's nothin'!!! My daughter went though a big "Fuck" phase. That was fun.

(And I'm just still getting over the fact that your wedding dress is BIG on you!)

Ruth Dynamite said...

I get those kinds of teacher calls for similar reasons...and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Jerri Ann said...

I can so see my children telling their teacher how it was their father's idea for that one..except it would have been me and that would have been so much more horrible. His teacher see's me everyday, not so much for dad.

Susan said...

There will be a day when a child of mine swears in Pig Latin at preschool.

tanya25m said...

This is just hilarious!!

Sounds exactly like something my daughter would say!

And you wedding dress is too big???

I'd be ecstatic if I could get mine over my BooBs :-)

Cakabaker said...

There is never a dull moment at your house!
Gotta love kids and husbands.

stepping over the junk said...

I can totally envision this going on in your house. Today, my 7 year old came out of school asking me what "nuggets" are on boys.