Thursday, October 23, 2008

Solder This, Honkey!

For my birthday present this year, K gave me a gift certificate to take a six session course with a silversmith.

Our first project is to make a silver ring with a semi-precious stone in a bevel setting.

For some reason every time I mention this class to people they say,

“Oh, you’re doing a handicraft.”

So I want to go on the record right here, right now and say that I do not like the word “handicraft.”  

It makes me think of “panty”.

Do not say handicraft to me.

I’m learning a SKILL, okay?

So anyway, the teacher suggested we take notes.

At first, I was all, 

“Honkey, PLEASE!”

But then she started to invoke π.

[I can’t even tell you how long it took me to find Pi on the keyboard.]

You’d better believe that when the mathematical formulas involving Pi started flying out of her mouth, I got down to the business of note taking.

Then I had to raise my hand.

“Yes, Jessica?”

“Uh… how do you spell soddering?”

[Sautering? Sawtering? WTH??!!]

“S-O-L-D-E-R-I-N-G.”

My classmate snickered.  

She KNEW how to spell it.

Whatever.

No one’s going to give ME a hard time in HANDICRAFTS class.

“Oh, WHAT?  Like I have to know how to spell that in every day life?”

[Honkey, PLEASE.]

[Honkey, please is my new favorite phrase. Bear with me.]

I have spent the last 36 hours trying to think of ways to mainstream the word “soldering”.

My best idea so far is to use it in meetings at work.

You know infuse it into the corporate mumbo jumbo.

“We need to solder this revenue stream to our profit portfolio.”

I’m totally going to get a raise.

31 comments:

furiousBall said...

i think as long as you're not using googly eyes or glitter (which is the herpes of craft materials), you're in the clear.

T. said...

I agree with the "handicraft". My husband refers to my knitting as "homemade" which gives me the willies. I prefer hand knit. Not sure that it's a huge difference to others, but it is to me.

Eternal Sunshine said...

Wait, there's a pi on the keyboard??

Julie said...

I also had no idea "sodder" and "solder" were actually the same word. But then again, I'm an immigrant (my excuse for everything, ha ha).

What if next time your classmate gives you the stinkeye, you can just yell, "Solder off!" in a Mancunian accent.

Day Dreamer said...

Lookie there...you'll get a raise AND a new skill!!

Learning where the pi symbol was is just icing!

Karen said...

My father-in-law took a silversmithing course a few years ago. He is NOT a handicrafter, mam, he IS a SILVERSMITH. I applaud you for doing this class, and I would never deign to call it a handicraft. You are (or will be) an artist.

A said...

Oohh I hate that word, too. Handicraft. Blech. I think it's that whenever anyone says it, even if it happens to be well-intentioned, they can't help but sound like they're talking down to you, or patronizing you.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Ummmmm.

Honkey, PLEASE. ?!??!?!?

Explain please ma brotha!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

My handicraft is pottery class. Do you know how many times I have drop kiln, press mold, bisque and slip into conversation? It's awesome!

Oz said...

Wait, wait, where's pi on the keyboard? I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I know!

QT said...

You are hysterical and I think I know what I'm gonna ask for when Christmas rolls around....

Holly said...

You just wait until you fire up that torch to do that soldering!

I took a silversmithing course and let me tell ya, there's no "handicraft" about it. It is amazing and I am anxious to see pics of your work.

Jan said...

What a cool gift from K. And I agree not handicraft, art is it!

Robin Marie said...

As a metals student, this is exciting to me! I simply call myself a maker. I believe that craftsmanship is the root of great art, and without craft there would not be art. I also think there is a difference between a craft and a "handicraft".

Post pictures of your projects, please please!

Virtualsprite said...

That's so cool! I'd love to know how to make jewelry.

And solder really isn't phonetic at all, so I think you can be excused.

Leslie said...

"Hobby" is to me what "handicraft" is to you. Hobby. Hobby. *shudder*

Magpie said...

Solder on, you honky you.

(I've always spelled it "honky". Am I missing something?)

Lotta said...

Oooh, I'm already jealous of your mad bezel sett'n skills!

kittenpie said...

Clearly you haven't been reading enough self-home-reno books... or at least not the plumbing sections. Heh.

Vodka Mom said...

What a great idea for a gift! He's too cool. You'll have to solder him to ......well....something.

ImpostorMom said...

you HAVE to post pictures of your first project. I love that style! My wedding band is actually a bezel set diamond with a flat white gold band.

VA Refinance said...

hope the lessons work out and the soldering too.

Arwen said...

I used to teach metal smithing in college (as well as silk painting and stained glass). Silver is one of the hardest metals to work with. I hate when people call it a craft. Not a craft, definitely a skill.

PS - I like glitter and googly eyes, especially on painted rocks.

Ponygirl said...

Honky please, it just rhymes with donkey but don't spell it that way! Honky has become a favorite word for me too, and now when I have to fill in my race or ethnicity on a form I'll eschew Caucasian and write "Honky" in the Other blank. My own small rebellion.

Oh, The Joys said...

Somehow I like Honkey, please! that much more knowing I can't spell Honkey.

Patois said...

I'm still trying to wrap my head around why "handicraft" makes you think of "panty." As for "honky," yeah, no one ever spraypainted it on the side of my car as a teen with an "e."

Theresa said...

I am soooo jealous of your silversmithing handicraft soldering classes!

Please post a picture of your first handiwork.

Velma said...

I have let my silversmithing skills lapse since having kids. There is nothing "crafty" about firing up a torch and joining metal... mastering the elements is badass!

Ben and Bennie said...

The last time I got Pi on the keyboard I had to get a new one. the old one was kind of sticky.

Weird, I've been using the word "honky" a lot lately. I've been digging on Rodney Crowell recently and he uses it in quite a bit in his songs.

Jordan said...

God, I hate the words "handicraft" and "panty", too.

*shudder*

Enjoy your class!

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