Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Matter of Minutes

It was late afternoon on a weekday when I flicked on the television only to find a sex therapist reviewing the... finer points... of the nether regions with a laser pointer on the Oprah show.

I don't know why I was home (and not working) that afternoon, but I suddenly found myself rendered powerless to resist an opportunity to learn more about... increasing blood flow to the area.

[Cough. Cough.]

Later that evening, I decided to share some of my newly won sexual expertise with my husband.

"You know," I started, "the sex therapist on Oprah said that while it typically takes a man FOUR minutes to become aroused, it takes a woman FOURTEEN minutes."

K looked at me.  Then he bent his elbow, threw his thumb over his shoulder pointing it at the bedroom door and said,
 
"Well alright then.  Get in there and I'll follow in ten minutes."

Oh, the PASSION!!


22 comments:

Patience said...

Wotta guy!!

They were actually using a laser pointer??? Might that be painful?!?

David said...

LOL! I love you guys! Thanks for keeping it fresh!

Shannon said...

I read that to my husband. I probably shouldn't have - I know it will be used against me (heh, heh), but it was too funny not to share.

PunditMom said...

You crazy kids! I'll definitely be using that new tip!

Travis Erwin said...

I like your husbands style.

Wendy said...

what he doesn't get is that his ten minutes starts with putting dishes in the dishwasher and getting his filthy socks off the floor.... ;-)

furiousBall said...

the man has a plan, nicely played K

Vodka Mom said...

oh, he's damn good!!


LOL!!

Scout's Honor said...

oh, that is jusy awesomely wrong. heh! I wish I was a 14. Sadly, with my sex drive, 66 minutes. Yep, I'm 66 fer sure... about the time I'm interested, husband has long since gone to bed.Sigh.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Touche K!

HW said...

We saw that episode - at 10:00 p.m. My husband took that diagram as a challenge. You know? Finding the G-spot. Lucky me. I guess.

DysdHousewife said...

First- That's just FUNNY.

Second- ain't it da truf!

EmilyN said...

Whoa, note to self, do not flip to Oprah while 5 yr old is around!

WILLIAM said...

4 Minutes? Hell I can start and finish in 4 minutes...oh wait... that is not something to brag about is it?

Laura said...

why is typical so funny?!?!?!??!

grefuture said...

Did he set a timer....just curious...:) Very funny...have to share that with my spouse...

R said...

Sounds similar to something that my fabulous hubs would say as well :) Gotta love the guys don't we?

Penny said...

ROFLMAO! You are so very real and so very candid, OTJ! I LOVE coming here for a dose of humor OTJ-style. LOL! And, I can so, so relate. lol!

justjuli said...

Hi-Lar-ious! I am laughing at the absurdity of the conversation. I love that you two are keeping the flame alive at the House of Joys!

Patois said...

I so saw that coming. (Heh heh heh. "Coming." Pun not intended, but I kind of feel it should be.)

Diane said...

Gosh almighty, sounds like something my husband would say!!! Simply hysterical!

(When's that Oprah rerun anyway?)

jess said...

heh heh