"You're a quiche eating old lady!" he yelled.
"You're hag with legs as tall as a house and a butt as big as the planet Earth!" his brother replied.
Our friend Michael suffers from migraine headaches. When his wife was out of town this weekend he came down with one so I took care of the boys.
[I mean, who can resist the fun of yelling elementary school yard insults?]
"You're a giant butt crack filled with potato chips!"
"You're a bran muffin eating, big poop maker!" I told the younger boy.
"No, no, no," the elder son said, "I make bigger poops than him."
"Fine, fine. Then he's a bran muffin eating, tiny pellet pooper!"
"That's the TRUTH," said the elder son laughing.
"Oh, yeah?" the younger countered. "Well, YOU clip your toe nails and fling them behind the sofa."
"No, no, no," the elder corrected. "It's DAD who does that."