Monday, December 22, 2008

Back To The Future

I wasn't particularly popular in high school.

I didn't lead cheers or swing a pom-pon and I wasn't on the homecoming court.

I was a drama club geek in the AP class.

There was a whole universe of high school boys who didn't know that we drama club geek girls from the AP classes were alive.

Now that I am 41, all of these boys are my friends on Facebook.

Which is a little weird.

For example...

In eighth grade, my best friend and I began referring to John Miller as "Mr. Tush."

John was a soccer player and whatever his coach had him doing was totally working for him.

Despite his admirable assets, I'm pretty sure John and I never spoke to each other in the five years between eighth and twelfth grades.

I really didn't know him.

When I became "friends" with him on Facebook I curiously clicked over to his profile to find out how things had, you know, held up.

There were no photo's posted on John's page so, initiating what was possibly our first communication ever, I wrote on his wall:

"WHAT?! No pictures?! I'm going to quit being your friend on Facebook."

To which he replied,

"I'm waiting to get my Park Ranger uniform back from the Dry Cleaners."


[What possesses me to publish this information on the Internet??!!]

Another boy that I didn't know at all, never spoke to once, was Ven.

This is a picture of Ven during high school. (I stole it from his Facebook photo album because we are Facebook friends now.)

Initiating my first ever communication with Ven, I left a comment on this photo which said:

"You totally owe me $70."

He wrote back asking why.


One weekend during high school, my parents went out of town and left me home on my own.

Because I was a genius from the AP class, I decided to throw a keg party in their absence.

Just weeks earlier, my friend Scott had thrown one when his parents were out of town.

Scott's party was really successful.

All the cool kids were there...

... and I drove his parent's car into their garage door; our friend Kevin pulled the ceiling fan out of it's socket; our friend Mike punched a hole in the bathroom drywall; and Corm projectile vomited while spinning in circles on the dance floor (also known as the shag-carpeted living room).

[Good times!]

My keg party was also SUPER successful too.

My parents came home a day early and arrived right in the middle of it!


Ven was at my party and do you know what he did while he was there?

Let me show you...

When my parents walked in, Ven was on the phone and he continued to talk even as the party broke up.

I got in big, fat trouble for having the party in the first place, but when my Father got the phone bill with the call to South America, he hit the roof.

I was too intimidated by Ven's rock hair to confront him about his phone bill, so I had to get a job to pay my parents back.

When I told Ven this story he offered to send me a bottle of wine, but I refused.

I decided to go for something a little more vintage.

"It's going to cost you your shirt," I said stealing another image from Facebook.

Ven Halen.

It's only fitting.


WILLIAM said...

You were a very attractive AP Drama Queen...I mean geek.

furiousBall said...

Never heard the name Ven before (i mean besides the diagram to which you referred to). And yeah, I would have been afraid to approach you in high school, well you and all of the female population back then

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Thank you for reminding me why I don't share my maiden name on Facebook. The boys in high school? *shudder*

Emily said...

Wow. Good Times!

Why did I never throw a keg party?

(Probably because I didn't have the hair for it.)

Not Hannah said...

I'm pretty sure that all drama geeks were required to have at least one yearbook picture in which they gave that exact. same. half-smile. I have, like, three of them.

John Ross said...

I graduated high school in 1976. I wasn't actually IN drama club. I was the set building manager. that way I could delegate work, go outside for an hour, and "flame up some righteous doobage".....ah, good times..ZZ-TOP, EAGLES AND THE WHO - only "freak chicks, band babes, or art crazies" were brave enough(or nuts enough) to talk to us - or maybe they were the only girls we were brave enough to approach. bales of home grown, oh my.

Jennifer said...

Facebook has become a bit of a time-suck for me.
It's been fun to reconnect with friends, but so far, I've only reconnected with former band-geeks like myself.
I have no courage to send a friend request to the cool kids, as I'm sure they wouldn't remember me at all.
Good luck in getting payment for the phone call.

Lisa Milton said...

Those boys were fools, not noticing you back then. Lovely then, lovely now.

Hope you are having a great week, J.

Motherhood Uncensored said...

Dude you're hot.


BethGo said...

After having that gorgeous mane of hair, Ven is now sporting a different look I see. It figures.

Is that guy really a park Ranger?

LSM said...

Facebook does seem to be the equalizer among old high school social circles. I was somewhere in the middle of the pecking order back then and notice that I've been friended by both those really popular kids and those who, honestly, I had to look up in the yearbook to remember. And, no one cares! I try to pass this bit of wisdom on to my daughter when she's worried about the drama of the week.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Van diagram.


carrie said...

Oh, the things I am missing on Facebook!

I think you got 'em back Jess. :)

Karen said...

Oh, the joys of high school! Ha ha ha!

The worst thing I ever did, was that there was this really cute guy, Stanley, who sat in front of me in homeroom. He had the most dreamy blue eyes and was on the wish list of most every girl in school. And he asked ME to go to the football game with him.

And my mother said, "NO, you can not go." And I went anyway before my mother got home from work.

My father and 3 brothers tracked us down to the bowling alley (where we went after the game, and I was sitting there in my mousy girl heaven with all the good looking boys from my high school and their dates) My father came in and literally pulled me out of the bowling alley by my ear, in front of everyone, and I wanted to just die right there on the spot.

I was grounded for a whole month, but the worst part of it was that I was not asked for a date, ever again, for the whole time I was in high school. Yeah, it was a small town and no one ever forgot it.

Travis Erwin said...

The dude lost his hair and now you wanna take his shirt as well. Cruel.

Anonymous said...

Gee what about the $300 phone bill you rang up while talking to the college boyfriend. That prompted the job and that you did not get to go on as your brother says, "the best vacation ever to the Tetons and Yellowstone National Park". But then as you say, never let the facts get in the way of a good story. And I do remember this keg party and the $70 phone bill ;-) Love, Mom AKA Gandma Seattle.

Anonymous said...

Leave us not forget the $1200 we spent for a car for you to leave abandoned in Champaign-Urbana. I am urging the Mayor and the Rooster on in their path to teendom.

SUEB0B said...

1. They knew who you were, but they were afraid to talk to YOU. Why? HOTTT!

2. Ven diagram. You are very funny and well-educated.

3. Your dad cracks me up.

John Ross said...

oooh! Got the Mom AND DAD rebuttals...brutal.....and very sweet. I'll try to remember their readership before MY next 70's comment! D'oh!

CJP said...

Your senior photo is gaw-geous. The smirk is such a face that I know.... It was a good day when you decided to brush your hair and take off the sweatpants. (oh, I say that with LOVE.)

I am fully on your page with the oddness of Facebook friends. And dude, that is totally Russ standing behind Ven in that photo...

Backpacking Dad said...

I was sitting across from you in english while the teacher teachered on and I kept staring at you, watching how you drew all over your eraser with your pencil because you liked the give of it, the soft contrast with writing on a sheet of paper on the desk. You kept looking up, fully knowing someone was watching you and knowing it was me, but you'd arch your eyebrow at me as though you weren't doing anything at all interesting. I'd blush and look away, and five minutes later you'd catch me looking again. We'd disagree in class but never talk outisde of it, because you pushed hard on my "don't even bother, stalker" button and I went on, staring and trying to work up the nerve to ask you to go to the go-kart track.

That is what your picture looks like.

JoeinVegas said...

It doesn't look fitting. Unless you've put on a million pounds it looks like it would be a tent on you.

Ali said...

i love seeing how most of the boys who didn't even know i was alive in high school didn't hold up as well as i did. facebook is awesome! ;)

Little Nut Tree said...

that is totally funny!

Jenny said...

wow-mom and dad with something to say. very very funny stuff

Jenny said...

also..I would have killed for your skin in high school (and now for that matter)

movin' down the road said...

HA HA HA HA!!! I want that shirt. What;s his name? I want to friend him on facebook too, just for the shirt. Do you think he has any Def Leppard shirts?

devilish southern belle said...

Yep, Ven totally owes you! And you should charge him interest.

Magpie said...

I was an AP kind of mathlete wanna be, in chess club and the marching band. But I'm not friends with ANY of those people from high school...

Penny said...

LOVE this post for a thousand reasons ~ LOL! Park Ranger! lol! LOVE it!

Lynn said...

Did you get the shirt?