Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I don't make pancakes.

I don't even really eat them.


a.) I am grossly pregnant, (in which case I eat stacks and stacks of them), or

b.) my mother made them.

Like me, my mother is what pancake connoisseurs might call A Pancake Making Failure.

The edges of her cakes are routinely burnt to a crisp.

[Oh, the heavenly, tasty joy!]

Nevertheless, K asked me if I would handle the pancakes while he cooked eggs and sausage.

[Visualize my incredulous look of surprise.]

"Well...," I stammered, "I'll try, but you know I've never actually made pancakes."

[Who would want to? When everyone else is busy eating pancakes, the pancake maker is stuck in the kitchen, hypnotized by the formation of tiny bubbles in the batter.]

With a great and dramatic sigh, I accepted the spatula.

My first pancake was a harbinger of doom.

I scraped it out, flung it in the trash and poured a cup of oil (more or less) into the cast iron skillet to "re-grease" it.

The Mayor, a practiced pancake apprentice under my husband's tutelage, covered his eyes.
"I can't watch," he said.

"Maybe I'd better take over," K said removing the spatula from my hand.

[Everything is going according to plan!]


Meghan said...

I consider myself an accomplished cook and baker, but I never could make a pancake. Glad to know I'm in good company.

mark said...

Good Form! My accomplishment: I have been deemed unqualified to operate the vacuum.

Miss Grace said...

I ONLY like my mom's pancakes. They're perfect.

verygoodyear said...

Pancakes are my absolute favourite breakfast ever. My husband likes to make them for me.

He always burns the edges. Every. Single. Time. Five years and at least twenty-five batches of pancakes later, I have yet to eat a "perfect" unburnt pancake...

But everytime, I tell him how wonderful the pancakes are and thank him for making them. I reckon that's true love!

mo.stoneskin said...

I have never made pancakes either, for pretty much the same reason.

While everyone else scoffs them, spluttering lemon and sugar all over the place (which the pancake maker seems to always have to clean up and be the "pancake spit and scum cleaner"), the pancake maker sweats and burns to the tune of spitting and scoffing. It's just not worth it.

Anonymous said...

Obviously, it had something to do with the recipe. Please try this instead:

3/4 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of baking SODA (not powder)
1 cup of buttermilk
3 tablespoons of butter, melted
Unsalted butter for greasing skillet

Put the flower, salt, and baking soda in a mixing bowl, and whisk briefly to blend. In a separate bowl, whisk the buttermilk into the egg and add the melted butter. Dump the dry ingredients into the wet, and whisk briefly, until the batter is well-blended and there are no large lumps.

Heat a skillet or griddle over medium heat, and grease very lightly with a little butter. Spoon out about 2 tablespoons of batter for each pancake, and cook until bubbles appear on top. Flip the pancakes and cook 30 seconds longer.

Dysd Housewife said...

the secret to a good pancake is a nonstick pan. I have one that my kids aren't allowed to touch. Or my husband, because well, in this story, YOU are my husband. LOL.

John Ross said...

I don't even care for pancakes. The syrup is just to cloyingly sweet for me, a confirmed sugar/chocolate lover. With peanut butter, they're tolerable.

Certainbly wouldn't EVER attempt to cook them - cooking something you don't like sounds like a bad idea. Okay cooking nearly ANYTHING is abad idea for me. But when my lovely wife makes them, she often placates me with bacon. whenever she cooks bacan she cooks the whole pound of bacon...for three of us. I get LOTS of bacon. BACON-BACON-BACON!!!!

Marmite Breath said...

I heard that you are supposed to treat the first pancake like a first husband and toss it out. It is for practice ONLY and not to be consumed.

Not that I would consume a first husband.

Unless he was made of pancakes.

Anonymous said...

I hate pancakes. They are only good crispy with almost burnt edges and who needs sweets for breakfast?? Sensible people need protein and plenty of it for breakfast _ I just wish I could eat my third of a pound of bacon (John Ross) evert dat without looking like a blimp. Now that with 3 egges with cheese in them plus toast with butter is breakfast not some sweet whimpy burnt edge pancake drek!. Love, Mom. Death to Pancakes. ;-) Recently I was asked if I wanted pancakes for breakfast and I'm old enough to snort "hell no" and not feel bad. It's nice to be 60.

Anonymous said...

OK, Typo. that should be every day. But then you knew that.

Anonymous said...

OK and eggs was spelled wrong too. I hate not having spell check!

WILLIAM said...

Batter Up.

movin' down the road said...

I can make pancakes but omlettes are the problem for me

furiousBall said...

you know who else couldn't make pancakes? general george s. patton and look at how he turned out

devilish southern belle said...

Heh, my pancakes are *okay*, but nothing special. However....give me a waffle maker and I am pretty amazing with the pancake batter! We love waffles around here.

bew not logged in said...

giggles...i made the BEST pancakes ever....when i choose to make them
but omg.... that french toast thingy is what troubles me...i just figure out how to make them...and "praise" the dear husband for being ...~swoons~.....<"MY HERO"....

Oh what a failure i am in that breakfast department... wink wink

kristi said...

Hubs got this awesome griddle and I made pancakes on it this morning. Totally blew my low carb diet!

Anonymous said...

Wonder why your grandmother was so good at making them but your mother and I suck?!? You should hear Audra talking about how bad my pancakes are. I say let them eat oatmeal!!!! -- Aunt Nancy

Nan said...

You. Are a genius.