Monday, January 05, 2009

The Offenses of Little Deer

I remember the barista having a wild, mop of dyed-black hair, vampire-white skin and gothic clothes.

He worked at a local coffee shop called Espresso Royale when I was in college.

One day while I was ordering my coffee, the barista noticed a little, plastic Bambi figurine balancing on his cash register.

He picked it up and inspected it with a disdainful sneer.

"Deer," he said with complete distaste.

With a flick of his wrist, he hurled the offending Bambi over his shoulder.

I watched it roll under a piece of industrial kitchen equipment.

[Oh, no! Someone help Bambi!]

For some reason, that barista is now forever associated with Bambi in my head.

The Rooster watched the Bambi movie for the first time the other day.

She was especially interested in the film's ending where first the skunk, then the rabbit and then Bambi all find themselves "twitterpated" by the fairer sex.

When all the animated, animal flirting was over, The Rooster turned to Grandma New York and me and said,

"Next week, when I go to Creighton's Birthday party, do you know what I'm going to do?"

"What Roo?" I asked.

"I'm gonna TWITTERPATE him."

Poor Crey. He's not going to know what hit him.

[Though he may well wish she would get lost under some industrial kitchen equipment!]


Jenn said...

hahah, she's going to twitterpate him so badly!!

Long time reader, first time commenter!

I actually just wanted to drop you a line because my son showed me this article that a friend of his wrote (I think he's maybe 18 or 19 years old) and I thought it just gave some really interesting insight into the minds of kids these days and ended with a very poignant bit of parenting advice from the youth. I just felt that it was a great way to start off 2009 from a different view and that maybe you'd want to share the link with your readers. No pressure at all, just thought it was something that you and your adoring fans may like!
Here it is--

So yeah, please keep up the good work and have an incredible new year!

Much love,

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

I love that. Twitterpate.

My daughter Twitterpates our 8 year old neighbor. He hasn't figure out what hit him yet either!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! HunkyDory uses "twitterpated" occasionally. It's just the perfect word.


carrie said...

Twitterpate! Who knew?

Maybe my middle schooler can explain this to me too. It's worth a shot, right?

ps - I STILL cannot watch Bambi without crying.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Oh Lawd - help us all!

Janet said...

Heh. I half expected the urban dictionary definition to be something like: "A spread to enjoy on crackers while communicating on the Twitter platform."

Either way, nice to see your Roo rockin' the definition old skool.

Trannyhead said...

That barrista sounds like a royal jerk! I remember going to see Bambi in the movie theater as a kid ... and my mom TOTALLY mortified me by crying at the mom death scene. I hated it. I mean - the dying thing was bad enough, but my mom crying and humiliating me in the movie theater? *shudder*

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm assuming that an account of the inevitable twitterpating uproar will be published next week?

Anonymous said...

Now I wonder is high power flirting genetic or just in the water in the south? GSeattle

Twisted Cinderella said...

LOL that is just too cute!

Amanda said...

Damn the Lake George rain, I want to meet this kid.

Penny said...



ImpostorMom said...

mmmm, espresso royale has the best cinnamon buns ever!

I'm sure the rooster could indeed twitterpate any little man she sets her sites on. poor guy.