Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Guy Walks Into A Bar

The Mayor, who is five, is currently going through the (widely studied) "Catskills" phase of his early childhood development.

Oh, the jokes.

[Oy, the jokes.]

Last night at dinner, he told the same (long), (unfunny), (obscure) joke three times.

With each telling the joke became longer and more obscure.

His dinner remained untouched as he cracked himself up and bewildered the rest of us.

Inspired by his own hilarity, The Mayor suggested that the family take turns telling jokes.

"You can go first, Dad," he said.

K took a deep breath.

"Okay, Jack Nicklaus and Jesus Christ were out on the golf course."

"Dad, Dad," The Mayor interrupted, "if you don't have a FUNNY joke to tell, you can just say something silly."

[I put the full text of K's joke in the comments section in response to the many requests.]


Denguy said...

Okay, now I want to hear the Nicholson-Jesus joke.

Momish said...

LOL! It's so true! Long, unfunny, obscure. But yet it is cute. They are cute! And yeah, I want to hear the rest of the golf joke now!

St Jude said...

I love children's humour... probably because it is very akin to my own. :0)

Miss Ash said...

I almost had tea come out my nose on that one.
My keyboard thanks you for the near miss. *laughing*

joie said...

I, too, want the rest of K's joke. Boyhood. I can hardly wait.

Oh, The Joys said...

Okay - The Joke...

Jack Nicklaus and Jesus Christ were out on the golf course.

Jack Nicklaus asks Jesus if he'd like to bet on the game.

[Now my children are going to talk about Christ's gambling problem at school which I'm REALLY excited about.]

Christ agrees to a wager.

Nicklaus swings first.

He makes an amazing shot, a hole in one.

"Your turn," he says to Jesus.

Jesus swings and the ball flies into the woods, far from the green.

When it lands, a squirrel picks it up and runs away with it.

Suddenly, a hawk swoops down out of the sky and picks up the squirrel with the ball still in its mouth.

Eventually, the squirrel releases the ball.

The ball falls from the sky, richochets off of a tree, rolls onto the green and into the hole.

Jack Nicklaus looks at Jesus and says, "Are you going to play golf or just f*ck around?"

Denguy said...


Although, I was expecting a Jack Nicholson-Jesus Christ joke.

Momish said...

:) Thanks for posting the whole joke! I could only imagine what The Mayor would say to that!

Anonymous said...

I hope it wasn't still the dirty diaper joke he told on his vacation with Grandma Seattle. ;-). I still remember how hard he had Roster girl laughing even if the adults weren't as amused. Did the joke this week crack Rooster up?

Emily N said...

How funny! I thought it was just MY 6 yr old who did that! The worst is when his 4 yr old then goes and tries to repeat the joke, messing up something that was already way not funny or even logical. His favorite starts off w/ a little boy asking his teacher and then various other people "what's the first letter of the alphabet?" and ends with a repetition of "cleaning the toilet, cleaning the toilet, cleaning the toilet." They both think this is VERY funny.

Marq | Brochure Printing said...

Yeah, childrens' humor and how they determine as "fun" is really astonishing. It's really cute how they take the really simple things as really enjoyable. :D

Gifts for Mom said...

I feel like that comment is so signifying of your child's personality! Adorable :-)

Vodka Mom said...

and THAT is why I love working with kids.

Amanda said...

It's all butts and burps here. Can't imagine if we'd had boys.

WILLIAM said...

You need to teach him the line "Don't forget to tip the staff."

JoeinVegas said...

But, where is The Mayor's joke?

BOSSY said...

Regarding the Mayor, some boys never progress beyond this level of joke telling (cough) (Bossy's husband.)

Anonymous said...

My wee cousins insist on reading the jokes inside the crackers at Christmas time. Except they can't really read. So the meaning is generally lost after two or three words, and the humour after an adult having to phonetically spell "Santa Claus". Still, they have to learn how to have a biting sarcastic wit somewhere.

Book Girl said...

Can I just say that The Mayor is the ult? Funny little guy!

I love reading your posts. I've added your blog to my blog list, hope you don't mind.